Stephen Burrell

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What’s in it for me?

When asking for help appeal to people’s self-interest as subconsciously, they are asking themselves: What does one stand to gain from this action, activity or situation? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “self-interest” means a concern for one's own advantage, interest, and well-being. I have found that when you discover something that will benefit the other person, usually they will respond more enthusiastically to your request. A key step is to understand the other person’s psychology. Once you make them see how you can in some way meet their needs or advance their cause, their resistance to your requests for help will magically fall away. You must train yourself to think your way inside the other person’s mind, to see their needs and interests and get rid of your own feelings that obscure the truth.

I would like to think that this cynical truth is not the way I behave or act, but the personal gratification of sharing, helping, or sacrificing can never be truly altruistic as I gain an intrinsic reward. According to my mentor, the validity of this argument depends on whetherintrinsic rewards qualify as "benefits". Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that everyone acts out of self-interest as humans are always motivated by self-interest and selfishness.