Charles Horton Cooley

The looking-glass self concept

A lot of what we experience in the world today is challenge because of how we see ourselves. According to sociologist Charles Horton Cooley, individuals develop their concept of self by observing how they are perceived by others, a concept Cooley coined as the “looking-glass self.” I agree that behavior and self esteem are dictated by a person's predictions of how they’ll be perceived by others. In other words, we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves, for example, if I think that you think that I am smart, then I am smart. And in contrast, if I think that you think that I am dumb, then I think that I am dumb.

 

The challenge is we are basing what we think about ourselves on what we think someone thinks of us. And the greatest challenge with this is how do you have any idea if what you think someone thinks about you is even true. This is where identity struggles, we start pursuing things in life because we think other people value them. Go to the root of the issue, it’s easy to say just take two of these a day or maybe you just need to do this, but when you look at it from the root perspective we have look at where our challenges arise.

“The challenge today is I’m not what I think I am. I’m not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
— Charles Horton Cooley