I recently came across the concept of relational intelligence, described as the ability to understand, navigate, and effectively manage interpersonal relationships. I think this is how trust is built, inclusion is felt, and where safety becomes the norm rather than the exception.
Perhaps it’s time for leaders to turn to their HR partners and ask the deeper, more human questions:
- Do my team members, especially those with less positional power, feel seen, heard, and valued?
- How do I react when someone gives me hard feedback?
- Have I made space lately for challenge, dissent, or alternative viewpoints?
- Am I showing people I care about who they are, not just what they produce?
These are not just performance questions, they are relational ones, and they might be the key to unlocking safer, stronger teams.
Heal first
c/o Paul Sloane ©
Healing and self-punishment cannot coexist. Many of us try to move forward into new relationships, roles, or versions of ourselves while still carrying guilt or shame from the past. I don’t think you can truly grow if you are quietly telling yourself you’re undeserving. Healing begins when you stop treating your past like a debt to be repaid with suffering. It asks for compassion, not penance. You are allowed to begin again, without shame or self-judgment as that’s not weakness, it’s courage.
““Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.””
Coaching isn’t magic
Alan Mulally, the legendary former CEO of Ford and Boeing Commercial Airplanes, is often held up as one of the most effective leaders of our time. His approach was grounded in humility, discipline, transparency, and an unwavering commitment to developing people. Marshall Goldsmith, the world-renowned executive coach, once shared a simple but profound lesson he learned from Mulally:
““If you work with great, dedicated, committed leaders who want to keep getting better, your coaching process will ALWAYS work. If you work with leaders who have no real interest in improving, your coaching process will NEVER work.””
This observation cuts through all the noise about methods, credentials, and frameworks. I think at its core, growth requires a genuine desire to change, and no amount of expertise or clever process can make someone evolve if they don’t want to.
Thinking outside the box
c/o LinkedIn
Things are rarely black or white, especially when you are working with people. Everyone has different personalities, career paths, and generational perspectives. I focus on understanding people, while others might focus on numbers. It can be hard to merge these views, but it's essential because people drive the numbers, and the numbers depend on the people. If we don’t recognise these different perspectives or stay open-minded, educating the C-suite becomes even harder. I think one of the biggest challenges is that leadership teams now include new roles and titles that add another layer of complexity. This means we need to invest extra effort in helping everyone understand and align.
Respecting our differences
I work with each individual to truly understand who they are. By doing so, I aim to value the differences among employees, rather than trying to make everyone alike. We need to embrace these differences as strengths, not weaknesses. It's time to stop forcing everyone and everything into the same diversity initiative. Not everyone needs to be included in every effort in the same way. Inclusion isn’t about sameness, it’s about recognising, respecting, and leveraging what makes each of us unique.
““Ordinary things, consistently done, produce extraordinary results.””
Matter of fact
I’m sorry to say it, but education and training alone do not equal intelligence. As a DEIB advocate, I believe that diversity intelligence deserves to sit alongside intellectual intelligence (IQ), emotional intelligence (EQ), and cultural intelligence (CQ). Too often, people misunderstand the differences across and within cultures. To treat all employees fairly, honestly, and with integrity, we need to develop the intelligence to understand the full picture: IQ, EQ, CQ—and the policies, rules, and laws that shape them.
I think both formal leaders and those leading without a title must learn to recognise difference, not as a threat or obstacle, but as a reality of the modern workplace. Being different doesn’t mean being less capable, and it shouldn’t get in the way of performance. I encourage you to reflect, look at your own actions, and examine your biases, because that’s where inclusion starts.
We are one
Growing up in South London and later moving to Copenhagen has shown me that there is not much difference among people in Northern Europe. We are all human beings who want to be liked and understood, and we all hold passions and beliefs. I think the key is to ensure those beliefs are grounded in facts rather than opinions, biases, or stereotypes.
““No one will really understand politics until they understand that politicians are not trying to solve our problems. They are trying to solve their problems - of which getting elected and re-elected are number one and number two. Whatever is number three is far behind.” ”
An underrated power
In a world obsessed with hacks, for example, productivity hacks, fitness hacks, and time-saving tricks, one of life’s simplest and most transformative tools often gets overlooked: good manners. I think being nice and polite might just be the most powerful “hack” of all. Why? Because good manners are contagious.
A kind word, a polite gesture, a thoughtful pause before speaking, all set a tone. They ripple outward, shaping the energy of conversations, relationships, and even entire workplaces. When you say “please” and “thank you” regularly, you are not just following a social script; you are signaling respect, empathy, and intention.
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.””
Executive coaching
I see coaching as the ability to further your learning and development by understanding your goals, challenging you, giving you timely feedback, and offering you my support. My executive coaching is a powerful catalyst for your personal and professional growth. As you are already an exceptional performer, my executive coaching will help you uncover blind spots, strengthen your leadership skills, and focus on specific areas to optimise your performance. I will be your trusted partner, guiding you through a process towards a deeper understanding of yourself, sharpening your decision-making abilities, supporting your transition into a new role, and preparing you to take on more responsibilities.
Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey that fosters continuous learning, self-mastery, and the realisation of your career objectives? If so, contact me via email to schedule a free 30 minute discovery meeting.
Draw from that experience
One of the most powerful ways to make the past more valuable is to invest it into your future through reflection. Become a student of your own life, and learn to look back on your days, months, and years with curiosity and intention.
Take a few minutes at the end of each day to reflect on your experiences, and ask yourself:
· Who did I see or meet today?
· What did we talk about?
· How did those interactions make me feel?
· What happened, and why?
· Why did they say what they said?
· Why did I respond the way I did?
I think by exploring these questions, you gain insight, learn from your experiences, and make your past serve your future. What do you think?
Bringing dreams to life
It takes D.R.E.A.M to achieve the extraordinary:
Discipline – Stay focused even when it’s hard.
Routine – Build daily habits that move you forward.
Education – Never stop learning and growing.
Action – Turn plans into reality with relentless effort.
Mentality – Cultivate a mindset that refuses to quit.
I think turning dreams into reality isn’t magic, it’s a D.R.E.A.M.
Face the facts
Organisations navigating change need to slow down, examine their assumptions and avoid snap judgments that can alienate employees. I think building shared psychological safety means ensuring everyone feels heard and considered, not just the loudest or most senior voices. Leaders need to be willing to sit with discomfort, recognising that genuine transformation often challenges their own perspectives. Too often, the emotional burden of change is outsourced to middle managers or HR teams, who are expected to absorb employees’ fears and frustrations without adequate support themselves. While HR typically serves the strategic interests of the organisation, it’s crucial to balance this role with a genuine commitment to employee wellbeing and ethical practices.
Solving writer’s block
Writer’s block is often a symptom of something deeper, for example, anxiety. At its core, it’s the fear that what you are writing isn’t good enough. Anxiety is essentially wasting present energy on a future outcome you don’t want. When you expect your writing to fail, it becomes almost impossible to invest your full energy into it and sometimes, you can't even begin. If you or someone you know is struggling with writer’s block, the key is to change the internal narrative. I think the mental “movie” playing in your head isn’t working, so play a new one.
How? Ask better questions.
Instead of: “What if my writing isn’t good enough?”
Ask: “How amazing is my writing going to be once it’s done?”
Then say: “Congratulations – I did it.”
Key drivers for personal growth
c/o Indeed.com
I don’t usually give any advice unless specifically asked for, but after yesterday's blog post I thought it necessary to follow up with some key drivers for personal growth.
- Take care of your appearance; it shows respect for yourself and others.
- Define and pursue meaningful goals.
- Don’t give up at the first obstacle.
- Commit to ongoing self-improvement.
- Build trust and connection through empathy.
- Hold yourself to high standards.
- Learn from “no” without letting it define you.
These drivers aren’t about avoiding failure or discomfort, theyare about meeting it head-on. True growth requires us to risk the “no,” to keep showing up, and to keep becoming someone who is not just capable, but also kind, resilient, and worthy of trust.
You have to get used to “no”
Why are so many young men choosing porn over the risk, effort, and vulnerability of real-life connection? Recent research shows that 51% of young American men have never asked a woman out in person. That stat doesn’t just speak to fear, it suggests a skill gap. Engaging in conversation, dressing well, showing up with purpose, and persisting through discomfort takes practice. Maybe it’s time we started training men in “no” exercises, because success in life comes down to your willingness to ask, for example, to ask for help, friendship, a job or a date…and be ready to hear “no.” Again and again. Porn, by contrast, offers a quick dopamine hit with no risk, no rejection, no growth.
I think without learning to face rejection, how will men ever develop resilience, confidence, or presence? Where do they learn to demonstrate excellence? That venue used to be social life, now it’s time to reclaim it.
Roskilde Festival update
Old friends from gymnasium meeting up at Roskilde, and then you realise that your proximity to royalty is really close.
Seek to understand
Open-minded people do not care to be right; they care to understand. For them, the goal isn’t to win an argument but to expand their perspective. There is never simply a right or wrong answer, everything is about understanding. I think it’s also worth considering: while understanding is vital, there are times especially in matters of justice, science, or safety when distinguishing between right and wrong becomes necessary. And even in those cases, approaching the issue with a mindset of seeking understanding can lead to more compassionate and effective outcomes.
Focus your attention
Many people think leadership is about giving orders and always having the answer. I thnk real leadership is about making people feel safe, coaching and inspiring others to grow by holding them accountable. It also means listening with full attention, leading with compassion, and knowing when to take a step back.
Two broad definitions of coaching
Photo: Søren Meisner © c/o Dansk Danseteater
Coach as Instructor:
An expert who teaches you how to do something practical. for example, a football coach who trains players in specific techniques, a wellness coach who guides clients in adopting healthier habits, or a language coach who helps improve communication skills.
Coach as Facilitator:
A trained professional who uses non-directive approaches to help clients achieve their own goals. Non-directive means there is no teaching and minimal advising; instead, the coach supports the client’s self-discovery, clarity, and decision-making through questioning and reflection.
All ICF-accredited coaches have one distinct rule:
“We ask rather than tell.”
Are your employees engaged?
Scientific knowledge provides robust evidence about human motivation, emotional intelligence, and effective leadership, showing us how to create better, healthier, and more productive workplaces. However, this knowledge is often not systematically applied in daily organisational practice. As a coach and DEIB practitioner, I am dedicated to exploring methodologies for translating empirical findings into practical strategies that address the complex demands of everyday working environments. Contact me via email if I can be of service to you or your organisation.