You will control your life when you learn how to control energy, and you will not control energy unless you control yourself and your emotions. I think the first steps to spiritual advancement and increasing your strength involve self-control.
Everything has a positive and a negative side. It’s impossible for anything to exist with only one side. For example, have you ever seen a one-sided coin, a one-sided piece of paper, or a one-sided piece of bread? If something exists and has a negative aspect, there must be something positive about it at the same time, and vice versa.