I think a lot of what we do is learned behaviour.
Society tells us, "Be yourself," but then turns around and says, "No, not like that.”
Society says, "Tell me how you feel," but only if those feelings are comfortable or convenient. If your authenticity makes others uncomfortable, they reject it.
““The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable.””
Apparently free speech a privilege rather than a right, and free speech is only granted if we approve of what is being said. As non-white individuals living in Europe, many of us feel this conditionality firsthand. If we don’t stick to the script, expressing gratitude and happiness for simply being here, then we’re told to leave, to "go back to where we came from." This is what I mean when I speak about privilege and inequality. How would you behave if your immigration status depended on it?
““Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ”
““Strength is the product of struggle, you must do what others don’t to achieve what others won’t.””
I’ve seen how hands-off approaches can fuel hate speech and misinformation. Without professional moderation, toxicity thrives, and those with harmful intent exploit the system. I think that the key isn’t censorship, it’s learning from past failures and building moderation frameworks that are transparent, adaptive, and fair.
Social media has become the public square of the 21st century, the space where people "spray and pray," hoping their voices are heard. Free speech is vital to a healthy democracy, but without thoughtful content moderation, the loudest and most harmful voices can drown out everyone else.
Meritocracy assumes a level playing field, but structural inequalities (e.g., access to education, networking, and mentorship) mean some groups start with disadvantages. Research shows that unconscious biases influence hiring, promotions, and leadership opportunities. The big question is would DEIB (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging) initiatives be necessary if true meritocracy—where individuals are evaluated and rewarded solely based on their abilities, performance, and contributions—worked perfectly?
““Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, “You owe me.”
Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.””
According to the teachings of the ancient Chinese master Lao-Tzu, the Four Cardinal Virtues offer a path to transcend habits and excuses, guiding you back to your original nature. The more you align your life with these virtues, the less control your ego has over you, allowing you to access the full power of source energy.
The first virtue, reverence for life, emphasises unconditional love and respect for all beings. Natural sincerityencourages authenticity and emotional honesty, embracing the mantra: “This is who I am, and this is how I feel”. Gentleness serves as an umbrella for forgiveness, acceptance, and love, fostering inner peace and harmonious relationships. Finally, supportiveness reflects selfless service to others, offering help without expectation of reward. I think by embodying these virtues, one cultivates a life of balance, compassion, and deeper connection to the world.
““Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth ‘you owe me.’””
People tend to focus on what is happening in their immediate environment and plan only for the near future. The problem with this approach is that they often neglect distant threats, which may have a significant impact in the long run. This is part of human nature as distant threats simply don’t evoke the same sense of urgency or fear as immediate dangers, such as a looming economic recession or a natural disaster. Future problems often feel too abstract for us to act on; for example, the effects of climate change may seem gradual and intangible, making it easier to delay necessary action.
““Knowledge isn’t free. You have to pay attention.” ”
Image c/o @arvind.lakhani2
Effective leadership often involves questioning established norms and embracing innovative thinking. Leaders who prioritise emotional intelligence, and have a willingness to challenge their own beliefs are better equipped to inspire their teams and adapt to the ever-changing landscape of business. I think to move forward, leaders must challenge conventional wisdom and unlearn assumptions. Like an inventor or scientist, a leader operates in uncharted territory.
““Every great inventor or scientist has had to unlearn conventional wisdom in order to proceed with his work.””
Reaching the next level of leadership requires deliberate effort, it’s not a natural consequence of time or seniority. Tenure alone should never be the reason someone holds a leadership position. Advancing in leadership roles requires deliberate efforts in skill enhancement rather than relying solely on tenure. I think that leadership training should be crucial for career advancement.
Whenever you feel as though you are getting weak, there is something out there to strengthen you. Find that faith or should I say perseverance in yourself to keep going. I think life has a way of challenging us, but with inner confidence and an unwavering belief in our abilities, we can overcome any obstacle. Remember, every setback is an opportunity to grow stronger, and every challenge is a chance to prove our resilience.
““If you have no confidence in self you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence you have won even before you have started.” ”
The strength that stays are:
Be a safe person.
Be someone who can be trusted to hold another person’s vulnerabilities, struggles, and fears with care. All while offering wisdom, protection, and confidentiality in return.
Be someone whose energy and presence bring serenity and joy, creating a sense of security for those around them.
Be a person whose words breathe life, and whose embrace makes even a stranger feel seen, heard, and loved.
““When setting out on a journey, do not seek advice from those who have never left home.””
I’m not afraid to be vulnerable, therefore, I follow these three rules:
Do the right thing.
Do your best.
Always show people that you care.
Because until people know you care, they won't care to follow you.
In life, we accumulate lessons, stories, mindsets, and skill sets that once served us. We often believe we need to carry them with us indefinitely, just in case they prove useful again. This baggage - both mental and emotional - becomes a shield, keeping us guarded and blocking out new opportunities or perspectives. We tell ourselves, "It wasn’t true back then, so how can it be true now?" As a result, we hold onto outdated mindsets, strategies, and ideas that no longer serve our present or future selves. We cling to remnants like old worksheets or unnecessary packaging, thinking, "Maybe one day I’ll need this." Growth requires us to let go and by releasing what no longer matters, we make room for new experiences, insights, and opportunities to take root.
““In the end only three things matter. How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ”
““The strongest of all warriors are these two - Time and Patience.””
Race may be a social construct, but racism is a very real system. If we think of racism as a system, it becomes clear that its operation doesn’t depend on who is in charge. Whether the hands steering it are Black, brown, or white, the system continues to function as designed. In the West, the individual successes of middle-class Black people are almost always deeply connected to the collective struggles and advances made by working-class Black communities. Yet, paradoxically, it is often the working-class Black individuals who see the least benefit from these advances.
““There is an understanding of diversity as the difference that brings no difference and the change that brings no change.””
““Two things that seldom seem to go together are genius and common sense. When I try to think of people with both, the first name that comes to mind is Milton Friedman. But it is a struggle to try to come up with more names after that.””
Beliefs, whether based on fact or fiction, are human inventions that help us make sense of ourselves and the world. Neuroscience research demonstrates that training and positive reinforcement can change people’s minds and behaviours. When we tell people what to do, we engage only their short-term cognitive memory, and as a result, they often forget much of the information, and it rarely leads to meaningful behavioural change. For instance, consider how many things you know you should be doing but haven’t acted on. Knowledge alone doesn’t transform our perception of ourselves or the world. Coaching is different. It facilitates long-term behavioural change by helping the brain rewire. I think as a person’s neural pathways evolve, their self-image and worldview shift, which in turn drives new behaviours. This lasting transformation is something that simple instructions cannot achieve.
““It’s hard to learn when you already know.””
Can you take a concept that people think they understand very well and flip it on its head?
Yes, no problems!
A brand isn’t just a logo or a company name. I think a brand is a shorthand: it’s what people expect when they hire you, when you walk into the room, or when they see your name. If your approach is just "Tell us what you need, and we’ll make it," you risk losing any distinct identity. You won’t stand for anything unique. Many creatives struggle to set prices for their work, often feeling like a sell-out when they find commercial success.
Value comes from the story and the price. You can choose one of two paths: you can position yourself as an affordable, general option, someone who competes on price alone and gets a steady flow of business. Or you can position yourself as a premium choice, someone who charges more but delivers exceptional value. You may get fewer clients, but those who value quality over cost will seek you out. Who do you want to be?
““Don’t become a wandering generality. Be a meaningful specific.”
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Image c/o LinkedIn
I have become both a sponge and a filter, absorbing everything while carefully choosing what to amplify. On one hand, I want to give voice to important topics, but on the other, I don’t want those topics to be solely associated with me. There’s a risk of losing myself or making it seem like the issue is about me, which could undermine the message. My challenge is finding ways to support these causes behind the scenes, without drawing too much attention to myself.
““What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgement on events.””
I think a good coach consistently delivers self-belief, self-motivation, choice, clarity, commitment, awareness, responsibility, and action, whilst also holding the client accountable. While many of us may be capable of providing these qualities to others occasionally, a skilled coach delivers them reliably, empowering most people most of the time. Contact me via email to discuss your coaching requirements.
“A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life.”
Which mindset do you have?
In her book “Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential”, Carol Dweck (author and psychologist) challenges conventional thinking by exploring the concepts of fixed and growth mindsets and how they shape our attitudes, behaviours, and outcomes. I think it’s an oversimplification to think that we can only have one mindset. Most people believe they either have a growth or fixed mindset, but research shows we possess both. At times, we operate with a fixed mindset, and at other times, we adopt a growth mindset.
““Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.””
