Byron Katie’s 4 questions can dismantle even the most painful beliefs:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know it's true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
The four questions work because they:
• Interrupt automatic thought patterns
• Create distance between you and your thoughts
• Engage the prefrontal cortex rather than the limbic system
• Activate neural networks associated with insight and clarity
For a long time, I told myself that nothing could hurt or damage me because I was mentally strong, but the truth is, it wasn’t mental strength protecting me, it was the armour I had built around myself. True mental strength isn’t about suppressing or minimising emotions, it’s about learning how to manage them in a healthy and productive way. Now, I’ve come to a place where I can handle those challenging feelings much better. I’ve realised that, often, the emotions I face aren’t entirely about the present moment, they’re connected to unresolved parts of my history. Recognising this has been a key step in my growth, helping me understand that to truly move forward, I need to address those deeper layers.
The strength that stays are:
Be a safe person.
Be someone who can be trusted to hold another person’s vulnerabilities, struggles, and fears with care. All while offering wisdom, protection, and confidentiality in return.
Be someone whose energy and presence bring serenity and joy, creating a sense of security for those around them.
Be a person whose words breathe life, and whose embrace makes even a stranger feel seen, heard, and loved.
““When setting out on a journey, do not seek advice from those who have never left home.””
Inclusion starts with intentionality, whether it’s the way I move through the world, interact with others, or create space for collaboration and growth. Just as my personal practices have taught me to trust my body and mind, they have also taught me to trust the value of diverse voices and experiences. The diversity of my being allows me to show up authentically, whether I’m working in a professional setting or connecting with others in my personal life. It reminds me that balance isn’t about perfection but about creating harmony and openness, both within myself and in the world around me.
Purpose isn’t a destination you stumble upon; it’s a commitment you cultivate every day. We have to identify what brings meaning to our lives and take purposeful steps consistently. By becoming more purpose-driven, we shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions in alignment with our goals. After all, our actions only change when our thoughts transform, as thinking inspires feeling, and feeling propels action.
Remember, you don’t find your life’s purpose - you create it. If you haven’t yet discovered your passion, your purpose is to explore and unveil it. Lacking an innate sense of direction doesn’t mean you’re without purpose. Instead, it signals that your journey of self-discovery is a vital part of your mission. Embrace the challenge, and find joy in uncovering who you’re meant to become. I think your purpose won’t be handed to you or dictated by others; it’s cultivated from within, nurtured by your actions and decisions.
Take that risk, take that leap of faith because if you do, I’ll see you at the top. Average is the enemy, and success is your responsibility. It’s up to you to push beyond “good enough” and embrace the path to greatness. No one else can do it for you; the power to succeed is in your hands, waiting for you to act. Remember, change can happen in an instant if you’re willing to flip the switch. Sometimes, all it takes is a mindset shift, a decision to believe in yourself, and the courage to act. The journey may not be easy, but when you decide to pursue your goals relentlessly, you become unstoppable. Are you ready to step up? If so, I’ll see you at the top.
c/o The New York Times
When I can confidently say that my decisions are rooted in love and aligned with my deeper purpose, it’s because I’ve accessed this clarity through meditation. In the stillness, I actively remove the clutter, noise and the weight of societal expectations, external obligations, and others' opinions that often cloud my judgment. By doing so, I create the mental and emotional space necessary to hear my own voice, to connect with my intuition, and to recognise what my soul is truly yearning for. This process of tuning into myself isn’t just about quiet reflection; it’s the foundation of self-awareness, which I believe is the gateway to authentic mindfulness. It’s through this mindful practice that I can align my external actions with my internal truths.
When evaluating how to advance in your work or personal goals, you generally have three options:
a) You can do more of what you’re currently doing, increasing your output or volume.
b) You can do what you’re currently doing better, focusing on improving quality, efficiency, or skill.
c) You can apply your current skills or efforts in a new environment, exploring different opportunities or contexts where you can make an impact.
I think each path offers different ways to grow, and the best choice depends on your current situation, goals, and where you believe you can make the most progress. Are you stuck? Contact me via email for a confidential discovery meeting.
I don’t use Tick-Tock but my children do, so sometimes I am confronted with some things to ponder, for example…
"Life is 100% better when no one knows anything about you."
Privacy can bring clarity and peace of mind. Guard it as you guard your ambition.
"You shouldn’t take advice from people who are not where you want to be in life."
Only follow the footsteps of those who have walked the path you aim to conquer.
"Everyone will show you who they are; just give them time."
Patience reveals truth. Be observant, and let time expose true intentions and character.
You must be smart enough to create your own opportunities. Why wait for someone else to offer you what you desire when you have the ability to create it yourself?
“The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom is courage.”
To achieve freedom, be courageous enough to act, to fail, to rise, and try again.
"You will always have problems."
Life will throw challenges, but you have the power to adjust your perception. Will you cry in the storm or dance in the rain?
““Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.””
I was recently asked what advice I would give to my younger self. I thought it was a great question, I paused and answered like this…
”When evaluating a brand, company or organisation as a potential employer, it’s essential to consider whether they nurture a growth mindset, and one way to gauge this is by observing the diversity within their workforce. A company that values diverse backgrounds and perspectives is often open to new ideas and committed to evolving through inclusion. Additionally, look for evidence of learning and development programs, as these initiatives show that the company is dedicated to continuous improvement and is invested in helping employees grow alongside the organisation. Finally, when speaking with recruiters, ask whether the company seeks only "geniuses" who already know everything or if they value individuals willing to learn and adapt. Companies with a growth mindset prioritise potential and development over perfection, creating an environment where growth is encouraged at every level.”
What advice would you give to your younger self?
Send me an e-mail, and we can arrange to have an informal 30 minute discovery call. No strings attached.
Diversity serves as a trigger as it makes people dig deeper, work harder and question themselves. There’s more conflict in these diverse groups – conflict of opinions and perspectives – and that leads to better outcomes. Don’t trust me, you can read the McKinsey & Co. reports.
i have been advised to be a little more active on LinkedIn to establish myself as a thought leader. This is my challenge for September as I have conditioned to believe that self-praise is no recommendation. I will give it a try…
““The moment you realise not everybody is going to like you is the moment you take back your power.””
Once you understand the power of your words, you won’t just say anything.
Once you understand the power of your thoughts, you won’t just think anything.
And once you understand the power of your presence, you won’t just be anywhere.
Before you start speaking THINK
T – Is it true?
H – Is it helpful?
I – Is it inspiring?
N – Is it necessary?
K – Is it kind?
You will control your life when you learn how to control energy, and you will not control energy unless you control yourself and your emotions. I think the first steps to spiritual advancement and increasing your strength involve self-control.
Everything has a positive and a negative side. It’s impossible for anything to exist with only one side. For example, have you ever seen a one-sided coin, a one-sided piece of paper, or a one-sided piece of bread? If something exists and has a negative aspect, there must be something positive about it at the same time, and vice versa.
““When we are no longer able to change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Hope and positive energy can turn challenges into triumphs.””
Accept both compliments and criticism, as it takes both sun and rain for a flower to grow.
““Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.””
Illustration: Liz Fossilien ©
Progress is not always visible on a day-to-day basis; it becomes evident only over time. Here’s how you might notice your growth:
You are less reactive to drama and now choose your battles wisely.
Your circle of friends is becoming smaller but stronger—prioritising quality over quantity. You are surrounding yourself with people who uplift you rather than drag you down.
You are embracing discomfort, whether it’s regularly going to the gym, learning a new skill, or having tough conversations with yourself.
You are saying no more often. Recognising that people-pleasing is unhealthy, you now prioritise your time and energy as the valuable resources they are.
You are investing in yourself through books, courses, therapy, and other means. You understand that the best investment is in your own growth.
Keep pushing and keep growing as I think the best version of you is still ahead.
I think you have control when you take charge of your life, emotions, and goals, as this helps you stay calm and confident in tough situations. One has to stay focused on your goals and stick to good habits as this commitment enables you to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward. Challenge yourself to see difficulties as opportunities for growth and be eager to try new things and push yourself to improve. The belief in yourself and your abilities builds confidence, which is crucial for staying strong during tough times and persevering even after making mistakes.
Your mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how you make sense of the world and yourself. I think your skills can open doors, but your mindset determines how far you go. According to Stanford University, 80% of people believe that mindset contributes more to success than innate talent. A strong mindset enables you to:
Set bigger dreams
Be grateful every day
Recover faster from setbacks
It's not the smartest people who win, but those who dream big and never give up.
““Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.””
How to develop a framework for high-achievement?
To develop a framework for high achievement you have to start by learning from your mistakes, using each one as a stepping stone for improvement. I think the cure for worry is continuous, persistent action toward your goals, as by clearly defining your targets you will create focused and effective plans that you can work on a daily basis. Prioritise the most critical tasks to ensure your efforts yield the best results, maintain your focus and concentrate on these important actions. Finally, decide in advance that no matter what obstacles arise, you will never give up, persisting until you succeed.
““Everyone is jealous of what you’ve got, no one is jealous of how you got it.””
A few weeks ago, I was reminded of how rewarding journaling can be for setting you up for each and every day. A journal is different from a diary as it’s a tool for recording and logging your personal growth. While you shouldn’t suppress your thoughts, I think should be positive. It’s important when faced with challenges, focus on what you learned or what went right, rather than dwelling on the negative.
There are no barriers to journaling, take 5 minutes every day to write down in your journal:
1. What am I grateful for today?
2. What is my most important task for today?
3. What noteworthy event happened yesterday?
4. How am I feeling today?
5. What is working well right now?
6. What could be improved?
