Many people think leadership is about giving orders and always having the answer. I thnk real leadership is about making people feel safe, coaching and inspiring others to grow by holding them accountable. It also means listening with full attention, leading with compassion, and knowing when to take a step back.
It's OK
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about being kind or approachable, it’s about being powerful with people, not over them. And that’s the kind of leadership organisations need if they are serious about meaningful, sustainable transformation. I think this is because in times of transformation, your presence matters as much as your strategy.
Focusing on practical aspects
Leadership today is not just about vision, strategy, or performance metrics, it’s about presence. And not just the kind that shows up in meetings or quarterly reports, but the kind that’s felt by the people around you. Authentic leadership is not about being universally liked, it's about being consistent, grounded, and brave enough to embody values even when they challenge the norm.
I think in transformation contexts where uncertainty is high and morale can be fragile this kind of leadership becomes critical. It stabilises teams without sugarcoating reality. It encourages innovation without glossing over fear, and it helps people stay resilient through the messy, human process of change.
The tension
I think authentic leadership doesn’t always land softly. It can challenge cultures that are resistant to change. It can unsettle environments where vulnerability feels risky. And that’s okay. Emotional intelligence isn’t about being agreeable, it’s about being grounded, intentional, and human. It’s about holding space for discomfort anddriving momentum forward. If you are leading transformation, you should expect a bit of friction as that’s not failure, it’s the work.
This is a critical factor
Leaders with high emotional intelligence (EQ) don’t just command respect they also create connection. Their ability to self-regulate, empathise, listen actively, and respond with intention builds psychological safety, trust, and long-term engagement within their teams. Some people call them soft skills but in reality they are strategic skills.
Emotional intelligence also has a disruptive edge, and when practiced with authenticity, it can surface discomfort in environments resistant to change. I think people may resist vulnerability, they may distrust candor, and in many legacy organisations, empathy can even be misread as weakness. This is why senior leaders must not only model emotional intelligence, but also be prepared to manage the disruption it can cause.
““Nothing is given, everything is earned.””
Choosing meaning with intention
Leaders are constantly required to interpret complex, ambiguous situations. Whether it's a missed target, a team conflict, or a career crossroads, the story you tell yourself about what’s happening will either empower you or hold you back.
As a coach, I help leaders explore the stories they are living by:
· Is this challenge a threat, or a signal for growth?
· Is that tension in your team a problem, or an invitation to lead differently?
· Is your current frustration a dead-end, or a turning point?
Reframing isn’t about denial or false optimism. It’s about choosing meaning with intention. It’s about emotional mastery. It’s about creating space to respond rather than react. And I think it’s one of the most powerful tools in a leader’s toolkit. If you are at a place where your old stories are not serving you, maybe it’s time to rewrite them, with support from a coach. Contact me via email to book a free 30 minute discovery call.
Look at it differently
We can’t control everything around us, but we can control the meaning we attach to it. I think by changing the meaning, we often change how we see the situation. From a leadership perspective when you change the meaning, you will shift your emotion. And that change in your emotion will you change how you lead.
As a coach, I help leaders step back, reframe, and see with fresh eyes. Not with false positivity, only with intention and clarity. This is because sometimes, a new perspective is all it takes to unlock your next move. Are you ready for a different kind of conversation? Contact me via email to book a free 30 minute discovery call.
Positive impacts
In many organisations, leadership conversations still default to top-down communication. Meetings become one-way updates, with leaders doing most of the talking and very little listening. The focus is often on delivering information rather than inviting dialogue. I think real conversations, the kind that shifts thinking is a two-way street. It asks everyone at the table to stay open, curious, and willing to let go of fixed positions when new insight emerges. The challenge is that many workplace structures still reward authority over inquiry. And when maintaining control is prioritised over mutual understanding, the space for real dialogue and the transformation it can bring, shrinks.
Setting the stage
How do you lead others who don’t share the same life experiences as you?
The challenge for leaders is to take everyone on the journey, not just those who are like them. My definition of leadership is when others choose to follow you in the absence of power, authority, or position, because they believe in you and the direction you want to take them. I think many people report to bosses, but not necessarily to leaders. Leaders may not hold formal power, but they have the influence to inspire and move people. As leaders, we must invest time in learning about the lived experiences of others.
What game are you playing?
Is your goal to always have the right answer and to be the smartest person in the room, the quickest to respond, the one who “knows”? Or is your game to build the capacity to generate the right answers, again and again, in changing contexts, and under new pressures?
One is about performance in the moment.
The other is about sustainable growth.
One gives you a short-term edge.
The other builds long-term adaptability.
Leaders who chase the first become dependent on certainty.
Leaders who invest in the second become architects of resilience for themselves, their teams, and their organisations. I think it’s because in a complex world, the prize doesn’t go to the one with the fastest answer. It goes to the one who can stay curious, keep learning, and co-create better answers over time. So, again: What game are you really playing?
Navigating a minefield
I work with leaders and senior executives to help them lead employees from marginalised and underrepresented backgrounds with greater empathy and confidence. I'm not a performer, I’m genuine, grounded, and deeply curious about people. I build meaningful connections because I truly care about getting to know the individuals I work with. This curiosity has shaped my life and career. I've been fortunate to work across learning and development, consulting, DEI implementation, and coaching. I create a safe, non-judgmental space where people can take off their masks, speak honestly, and share what’s truly on their hearts, knowing they will be met with respect and understanding.
Deep connections
My mission is to support leaders and senior executives in creating inclusive environments where employees from marginalised and underrepresented backgrounds can thrive. Curiosity about people has shaped my life and career, I build deep, genuine connections because I care deeply about learning from and understanding those I work with. With a background in learning and development, consulting, DEI implementation, and coaching, I bring a multifaceted approach to leadership development. I create safe, judgment-free spaces where people can remove their masks, speak openly, and feel truly seen and heard.
““A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.”
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EQ is interesting
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is so much more than just managing your emotions. It’s the ability to pause when something triggers you and ask, “What deeper pain or belief is being touched right now?” EQ is the understanding that life constantly tests us, and that not everything is meant to be held onto. It’s not about suppressing your feelings; it’s about facing them with honesty, healing what hurts, and turning your struggles into strength.
Human tendency
In today’s complex and interconnected world, the organisations that thrive are those that recognise diversity not as a checkbox, but as a strategic advantage. Inclusive leadership means more than inviting different voices to the table, it means actively listening to them, valuing them, and adapting in response. The future belongs to companies that embrace difference as a strength, where leaders have the courage to be vulnerable and the emotional intelligence to foster psychological safety. These leaders understand that innovation flourishes when people feel safe to take risks, share ideas, and be their authentic selves, without fear of judgment or exclusion. I think this isn’t just about doing what’s right; it’s about doing what works.
Rhythm versus ritual
Leadership development is often seen as a box to tick, an inspiring workshop here, a high-impact coaching session there. Research consistently shows that without deliberate follow-through, even the most well-designed training programs fail to drive lasting behavioural change. So the real question becomes: How do leaders ensure they are applying what they have learned?
I think for leadership training to stick, feedback must become part of the culture, not just an annual event. Leadership isn't about perfection, it's about progress, and therefore, progress is far easier to track when you invite honest input from those around you.
Plan for change
How often have you been in a meeting that started with the question, “Are we on track to fulfil our plan?”
In many organisations, governance structures reward sticking to the plan. What if the plan is no longer fit for purpose? It’s not that the original plan was wrong, it was mave been the right approach based on what we knew at the time, but circumstances change. I think real leadership lies in recognising when to adapt. The ability to shift course in response to new information isn’t a failure of planning, it’s a sign of maturity, agility, and good judgement.
Creating equitable spaces
Real leadership is not about avoiding discomfort, it’s about facing it with care. Power dynamics exist in every leadership and coaching relationship, and avoiding them doesn’t erase them, it just lets them operate in the shadows. For leaders committed to growth, the real work is to acknowledge these dynamics and manage them with honesty and integrity. Ignoring power can create unspoken barriers, limit trust, and stifle authentic conversations.
Remember that naming the dynamic doesn’t weaken your authority, I think it strengthens trust. It shows you're aware of your influence and are using it responsibly. Especially when addressing behaviours that clash with your values, the way you engage is critical.
Take responsibility
In today’s fast-paced world, where many interactions feel transactional, choosing to lead with presence and emotional intelligence is not just courageous, it’s transformational. It requires slowing down in a culture that rewards speed, listening deeply when distractions are everywhere, and responding with empathy even when pressure mounts. Leading this way builds trust, strengthens relationships, and creates space for people to show up as their full selves. It’s not about being soft, it’s about being strategic with humanity at the core.
Emotional intelligence helps leaders navigate complexity, manage their own reactions, and foster environments where collaboration, innovation, and accountability thrive. I think in a time when so many are craving connection and meaning, this kind of leadership is more than a skill, it’s a responsibility.
Use this reframe
I think true leadership in relationships regardless of whether they are personal or professional will start with self-awareness. Therefore, the only real shift in any relationship begins with you. When you intentionally change how you show up, not to manipulate or fix, but to create space, you allow others to be who they are. That space invites honesty, reduces friction, and deepens connection. Instead of wishing someone were different, you get to decide how you want to engage based on your values and boundaries.
It's better to show than to tell
When it comes to protecting your reputation, actions speak louder than words. The way you consistently show up in your work, your relationships, and your integrity will always speak more clearly than any explanation you could give. If someone is saying something about you, the emotionally intelligent response is to approach them directly, with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Gossip often stems from insecurity or a desire for control, not truth. As a leader, you have the power to choose your response: is this something worth addressing, or simply information that helps you better understand the dynamics around you? I think in some cases, it’s not about confrontation, it’s about recalibrating your time, energy, and trust accordingly.