It all starts with intention, setting a clear goal or purpose. From there, it becomes a behaviour, something you actively choose to do. With repetition, that behaviour transforms into a habit, something you do consistently. Over time, it evolves into a practice, a deliberate and refined part of your routine. Eventually, it becomes second nature, something you do effortlessly, until finally, it is no longer something you do - it is simply who you are.
Leading diverse teams
c/o LinkedIn
The success gap between emotionally intelligent leaders and those who remain unaware is striking. According to Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence accounts for 90% of the difference between exceptional leaders and average ones. However, while emotional intelligence (EQ) is essential, does it fully equip you to lead a diverse team effectively? I think EQ is vital for managing the challenges of navigating a group with varying opinions, values, and needs. Yesterday, I had an insightful conversation with a cultural intelligence (CQ) expert, which made me realise that building trust within a diverse team also requires CQ.
Feeling Stuck?
Feeling stuck often stems from a lack of direction or purpose. When this happens, it’s worth reflecting on key areas of personal growth that might need attention:
Confidence – Do you believe in your abilities and decisions?
Mindset – Are your thoughts supporting or hindering your progress?
Boundaries – Are you protecting your time, energy, and values?
Discipline – Are you consistently showing up for your goals?
Communication Skills – Can you effectively express yourself and your needs?
Self-Respect – Are you treating yourself with the dignity you deserve?
If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.
Understanding the needs and expectations
Relationship management is the ability to build strong connections, communicate effectively, and collaborate with others. It is the most visible aspect of leadership, reflected in how leaders guide, influence, and inspire those around them. Effective leaders motivate others by articulating purpose and meaning in their work, fostering both individual and team success. I think they manage conflicts constructively, remaining calm and focused on solutions that allow all parties to thrive. Beyond achieving immediate results, great leaders are also invested in developing future leaders, helping others build their strengths and reinforcing the leadership foundation of their organisation for long-term growth.
Accurate perceptions of people
Social awareness is the ability to assess your environment and understand the emotions, needs, and perspectives of others, including how your organisation operates from a systems perspective. For leaders, what matters most is empathy, the ability to tune into the people around you, whether they are above, besides, or below you. Effective tuning in involves three key components:
1. Cognitive empathy – Understanding how others perceive a situation and seeing it from their perspective which is often described as “walking a mile in their shoes.” This includes sensing the language or mental models they use to interpret reality and communicating in a way that resonates with their inner framework.
2. Emotional empathy – Leveraging the brain’s social circuitry to instinctively and consciously connect with others. This allows leaders to sense what others are feeling, fostering real-time emotional alignment and keeping interactions on track.
3. Empathic concern (caring) – Going beyond understanding thoughts and feelings to genuinely caring about others. Leaders who demonstrate this ability build trust and rapport by showing that they value and support the people they lead.
Improvement is always possible
Self-management is the ability to regulate and control your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours effectively. It consists of four key components:
Self-control – Managing upsetting emotions to maintain focus and emotional balance.
Positive outlook – Seeing the bright side of situations, even in the face of challenges.
Adaptability – Adjusting to changing circumstances while embracing a growth mindset. It’s the belief that improvement is always possible.
Achievement orientation – Staying focused on meaningful goals despite daily distractions. Goal-setting also serves as a powerful tool for emotional self-management.
Self-awareness is key
Self-awareness is the ability to understand your emotions and how they shape your perceptions, thoughts, and impulses to act. Emotional self-awareness helps direct our attention, making it crucial to recognise what we are feeling, how intensely we feel it, and where it is guiding our focus - since attention ultimately shapes our reality. I think being aware of how emotions influence attention provides a valuable diagnosis of our current state. Maturity, in this context, involves widening the gap between impulse and action.
Although self-awareness is the least visible aspect of emotional intelligence, research indicates that individuals with low self-awareness struggle to develop strengths in other areas of EQ. By contrast, those with high emotional intelligence consistently achieve excellence across various domains.
The cornerstone of trust
Emotional intelligence (EQ) involves recognising, understanding, and managing one's own emotions, as well as influencing the emotions of others. Daniel Goleman's research indicates a strong correlation between high emotional intelligence and exceptional leadership performance. Unlike IQ, which remains relatively constant throughout life, EQ can be developed and enhanced at any stage. Harvard University emphasises the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership, offering programs designed to help leaders build trust, manage difficult discussions, and enhance team performance through improved emotional intelligence.
Over the next four days I will be writing about self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relational management as these are the cornerstones of EQ.
Questions to ask yourself
As we are in the last day of 2024, here are some questions to reflect on:
What are you thinking right now?
What patterns or themes do you notice in these thoughts?
Why are you choosing to think this thought?
Is this thought serving you, or is it holding you back?
How does this thought feel?
What emotions are tied to it, and how are they influencing your actions?
What thought is causing the way I feel right now?
How can I reframe this thought to shift my mindset or energy?
As you reflect on these questions, take a moment to write down any insights or patterns that stand out. What shifts do you want to make heading into 2025? If you’re ready to explore these thoughts further and create a plan for the year ahead, contact me via email for a free 30-minute discovery session. Together, we can build momentum and set you up for success!
Teach them how to fish
Human beings are more likely to commit to and remain loyal to decisions they make for themselves, rather than following instructions imposed by others about what they should do, think, or feel. That's why I don’t give my clients advice, I prefer to metaphorically teach them how to fish, rather than simply handing them a fish dinner. True empowerment comes not from showcasing my own intelligence, but from leveraging my curiosity to deeply explore their challenges.
““Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.””
Trust yourself
The certainty I have as a coach is grounded in the curiosity I bring to my questions. My coaching language is intentionally simple, inspired by childlike curiosity, and supported by a deep understanding of human behaviour. I believe there is no problem I cannot help my clients navigate because the answers already reside within them. With millions of people facing millions of challenges, it’s not my role to provide solutions but to empower clients to uncover their own. My calmness in coaching stems from this belief—that whoever holds the problem also holds the solution. This perspective is profoundly liberating, as it allows me to approach every session with curiosity, guiding clients through thoughtful questions that lead them to discover their own answers.
If you're ready to unlock solutions to your challenges and gain clarity through meaningful conversations, I invite you to book a free 30-minute discovery meeting with me via email. Let’s explore how coaching can support your growth and success.
It's a niche market
As we approach 2025, the leadership coaching industry is experiencing significant growth and transformation. The number of certified coach practitioners worldwide surged from 71,000 in 2019 to 109,200 in 2022, marking a 54% increase. This expansion underscores the importance of clear positioning in a competitive market. My focus is on delivering unique value that resonates with clients seeking distinctive solutions and I invite you to join the conversation.
Let's discuss the challenges you face and explore various approaches to leadership development. Together, we can evaluate the pros and cons of each method to determine the best path forward. This isn't about prescribing solutions; it's about engaging in meaningful dialogue and sharing insights that matter. Your perspective is invaluable as we navigate the evolving landscape of leadership coaching. Contact me via email for a “free” 30 minute discovery meeting.
Language is vital
Curiosity becomes even more powerful when paired with knowledge. I mean the knowledge of how the brain works, how humans form beliefs, how trauma can be released from the body, and how conflicts of values and identities can be resolved. In my coaching sessions, I build on this foundation of curiosity by layering high-level questions as I believe this is where real transformation happens. People’s beliefs often reveal themselves through their language although most of the time, they don’t even notice it. That’s why I focus on active listening. I just let go of any attachment to what I think I might need and simply stay present. And when I do, the words my clients speak naturally guide me to the next question, the one that could change everything.
A good asking machine
I don’t know anyone who’s afraid of their ability to be curious, but I do know plenty of people who fear not having all the right answers. The power of coaching lies in curiosity, because coaching isn’t about having answers; it’s about asking questions. I think the best coaches are not the ones with the best answers, they are the ones with the best questions. That’s why I don’t want to be an answering machine, I prefer to be a good asking machine.
Find your way forward
Feeling stuck often stems from a lack of direction or purpose. When this happens, I think it’s worth reflecting on key areas of personal growth that might need attention:
Confidence – Do you believe in your abilities and decisions?
Mindset – Are your thoughts supporting or hindering your progress?
Boundaries – Are you protecting your time, energy, and values?
Discipline – Are you consistently showing up for your goals?
Communication Skills – Can you effectively express yourself and your needs?
Self-Respect – Are you treating yourself with the dignity you deserve?
If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.
Direct and decide
c/o Shutterstock
There are moments in life when we become deeply aware of the direction we want to take. It’s in these moments that we commit to action, deciding to move forward with intention. While no one can provide a universal framework for what is true or important to you, I can offer a starting point to help you decide where to begin.
When making career decisions, consider these four key determinants:
1. Leverage – What resources, skills, or connections can you utilize?
2. Ease – How accessible or straightforward is this path?
3. Risk – What are the potential downsides or uncertainties?
4. Return – What is the reward, personally or professionally?
If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.
Let go in order to grow
In life, we accumulate lessons, stories, mindsets, and skill sets that once served us. We often believe we need to carry them with us indefinitely, just in case they prove useful again. This baggage - both mental and emotional - becomes a shield, keeping us guarded and blocking out new opportunities or perspectives. We tell ourselves, "It wasn’t true back then, so how can it be true now?" As a result, we hold onto outdated mindsets, strategies, and ideas that no longer serve our present or future selves. We cling to remnants like old worksheets or unnecessary packaging, thinking, "Maybe one day I’ll need this." Growth requires us to let go and by releasing what no longer matters, we make room for new experiences, insights, and opportunities to take root.
““In the end only three things matter. How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ”
Bump and hustle
You can’t grow yourself until you know yourself, and self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It’s difficult to improve without understanding who you are and where you stand. Much of my own self-awareness came from people who cared enough to point out areas where I needed to make changes in my life. I’ve learned that self-awareness is a continuous process, one that requires regular reflection. I often ask myself, what am I optimising for? The answer can vary for everyone, and it shifts over time as our goals and priorities evolve. This is why it’s crucial to revisit this question periodically to remain aware of how you’ve changed and whether your current habits can carry you toward your desired future. Sometimes, the habits that served the “old you” won’t be enough for the “current you.” When what you’re optimising for shifts, your habits must shift too. I find it helpful to have a regular process of reflection and review to stay self-aware, identify changes, and adapt my habits to align with my evolving goals.
Growing up is a choice
Growth and development are continual processes that require us to evolve beyond where we are today. True growth happens when we pause to reflect on our experiences and transform them into valuable insights. This process allows us to recognise that the tools, habits, and strategies that got us to our current level of success are often not sufficient to take us to the next level. As we embrace this truth, we open ourselves to new possibilities, learning, and opportunities for improvement. Life becomes much easier once we understand that growth requires change, and with every step forward, we must adapt, refine, and level up. By committing to reflection and learning, we ensure that our experiences are not wasted but instead serve as stepping stones toward continuous personal and professional development.
The DOUSE model
The DOUSE model, designed by Karen Foy and Suzanne Hayes-Jones, is a structured approach to ending a coaching conversation with a well-formed outcome aligned to the agreed goal.
The acronym stands for:
Double check the goal
Obstacles
Uncovered
Support
Ending
As we conclude a coaching session, the aim is to do so purposefully, supporting the coachee to design actionable steps, consolidate their learning about themselves and the situation, and feel empowered to move forward with clarity and confidence. Additionally, we want to ensure the session ends in the spirit of partnership, just as it began.