Curiosity becomes even more powerful when paired with knowledge. I mean the knowledge of how the brain works, how humans form beliefs, how trauma can be released from the body, and how conflicts of values and identities can be resolved. In my coaching sessions, I build on this foundation of curiosity by layering high-level questions as I believe this is where real transformation happens. People’s beliefs often reveal themselves through their language although most of the time, they don’t even notice it. That’s why I focus on active listening. I just let go of any attachment to what I think I might need and simply stay present. And when I do, the words my clients speak naturally guide me to the next question, the one that could change everything.
A good asking machine
I don’t know anyone who’s afraid of their ability to be curious, but I do know plenty of people who fear not having all the right answers. The power of coaching lies in curiosity, because coaching isn’t about having answers; it’s about asking questions. I think the best coaches are not the ones with the best answers, they are the ones with the best questions. That’s why I don’t want to be an answering machine, I prefer to be a good asking machine.
Find your way forward
Feeling stuck often stems from a lack of direction or purpose. When this happens, I think it’s worth reflecting on key areas of personal growth that might need attention:
Confidence – Do you believe in your abilities and decisions?
Mindset – Are your thoughts supporting or hindering your progress?
Boundaries – Are you protecting your time, energy, and values?
Discipline – Are you consistently showing up for your goals?
Communication Skills – Can you effectively express yourself and your needs?
Self-Respect – Are you treating yourself with the dignity you deserve?
If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.
Direct and decide
c/o Shutterstock
There are moments in life when we become deeply aware of the direction we want to take. It’s in these moments that we commit to action, deciding to move forward with intention. While no one can provide a universal framework for what is true or important to you, I can offer a starting point to help you decide where to begin.
When making career decisions, consider these four key determinants:
1. Leverage – What resources, skills, or connections can you utilize?
2. Ease – How accessible or straightforward is this path?
3. Risk – What are the potential downsides or uncertainties?
4. Return – What is the reward, personally or professionally?
If you’re ready to explore your next steps, contact me via email to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call.
Let go in order to grow
In life, we accumulate lessons, stories, mindsets, and skill sets that once served us. We often believe we need to carry them with us indefinitely, just in case they prove useful again. This baggage - both mental and emotional - becomes a shield, keeping us guarded and blocking out new opportunities or perspectives. We tell ourselves, "It wasn’t true back then, so how can it be true now?" As a result, we hold onto outdated mindsets, strategies, and ideas that no longer serve our present or future selves. We cling to remnants like old worksheets or unnecessary packaging, thinking, "Maybe one day I’ll need this." Growth requires us to let go and by releasing what no longer matters, we make room for new experiences, insights, and opportunities to take root.
““In the end only three things matter. How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” ”
Bump and hustle
You can’t grow yourself until you know yourself, and self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It’s difficult to improve without understanding who you are and where you stand. Much of my own self-awareness came from people who cared enough to point out areas where I needed to make changes in my life. I’ve learned that self-awareness is a continuous process, one that requires regular reflection. I often ask myself, what am I optimising for? The answer can vary for everyone, and it shifts over time as our goals and priorities evolve. This is why it’s crucial to revisit this question periodically to remain aware of how you’ve changed and whether your current habits can carry you toward your desired future. Sometimes, the habits that served the “old you” won’t be enough for the “current you.” When what you’re optimising for shifts, your habits must shift too. I find it helpful to have a regular process of reflection and review to stay self-aware, identify changes, and adapt my habits to align with my evolving goals.
Growing up is a choice
Growth and development are continual processes that require us to evolve beyond where we are today. True growth happens when we pause to reflect on our experiences and transform them into valuable insights. This process allows us to recognise that the tools, habits, and strategies that got us to our current level of success are often not sufficient to take us to the next level. As we embrace this truth, we open ourselves to new possibilities, learning, and opportunities for improvement. Life becomes much easier once we understand that growth requires change, and with every step forward, we must adapt, refine, and level up. By committing to reflection and learning, we ensure that our experiences are not wasted but instead serve as stepping stones toward continuous personal and professional development.
The DOUSE model
The DOUSE model, designed by Karen Foy and Suzanne Hayes-Jones, is a structured approach to ending a coaching conversation with a well-formed outcome aligned to the agreed goal.
The acronym stands for:
Double check the goal
Obstacles
Uncovered
Support
Ending
As we conclude a coaching session, the aim is to do so purposefully, supporting the coachee to design actionable steps, consolidate their learning about themselves and the situation, and feel empowered to move forward with clarity and confidence. Additionally, we want to ensure the session ends in the spirit of partnership, just as it began.
The STOKERS model
The STOKERS model, adapted from Claire Pedrick of 3DCoaching.com, emphasises starting a coaching session with the end in mind. The term "stoker" originates from tandem cycling, where the stoker (the person at the back) provides power to the ride, while the captain (the person at the front) sets the direction. Similarly, in coaching, the coach provides structure and energy for the conversation, while the client determines its direction and focus.
The STOKERS model provides a simple framework for shaping coaching conversations:
Subject: What do we need to think about today?
Time: Given we have X minutes, what about that should we focus on?
Outcome: What would you like to be different by the end of our session?
Know: How will you know you’ve achieved what you needed from this time?
Essence: What makes this meaningful or important? What is at the heart of this issue?
Role: How should we approach this together?
Start: Where shall we begin?
This model helps create clarity and momentum, ensuring both coach and client stay aligned and purposeful throughout the session.
Fighting the war within
Everyone is fighting an internal battle, whether it’s in their relationships, mental health, or finances. That’s why showing a little more compassion every day is so important as we rarely know what others are going through. It’s easy to be critical or judgmental, especially when someone has different political views, opinions, or even behaves rudely. I think choosing kindness may make a bigger difference than we realise.
““Do not assume you’re smarter simply because you’re older.” ”
Moving the needle
I work with leaders and senior executives to help them effectively lead employees from marginalized and underrepresented backgrounds. My approach is not about quick fixes or performances, it's about authenticity, connection, and transformation. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been deeply curious about people. This curiosity has shaped my career in learning and development, from consulting on DEI initiatives to coaching leaders. My goal has always been to create meaningful impact.
As a coach, I provide a safe space for leaders to take off their masks and share what’s truly on their minds,without fear of judgment. It’s in these honest conversations that real growth happens. If you’re ready to deepen your understanding, embrace inclusion, and create a workplace where every team member feels seen and valued, let’s talk. Contact me via email for a confidential meeting. Together, we can build stronger, more connected teams and lead the change that matters.
Kindness is the answer
My goal is to work with leaders and senior executives, helping them lead employees from marginalised and underrepresented backgrounds. Curiosity about people has shaped my life, and I create deep connections because I care about learning and understanding the people I work with. I’ve been fortunate to work in learning and development, consulting, implementing DEI initiatives, and coaching. I create a safe space where individuals can remove their masks, speak from the heart, and trust that I will never judge them. Contact me via email for a confidential meeting.
Supporting skills
Human beings naturally seek to understand their social status in relation to others. I think acknowledgement and recognition are powerful tools for enhancing status and fostering supportive behaviour. However, when people are uncertain about what to expect, they tend to become defensive. To create a sense of safety, it’s important to provide clarity about what they will experience. When coaching, understanding my own behavioural patterns helps me relate more effectively to my clients.
Myth busters
Here are three key myths busted:
Coaching is about growth and performance, not problem-solving. It’s designed to help you reach your potential, not to address issues.
Coaching is often mistaken for consulting or mentoring. The difference is in the approach: consulting and mentoring rely on external expertise, while coaching helps you tap into your own insights as the expert in your journey.
Coaching is confidential, even when it's sponsored by your employer.
Let's have a meeting
I work with C-suite executives, business owners, and senior managers to unlock their full potential. I think meaningful change starts with transforming the way we think. To act differently and develop new behaviours, we first need to shift our thoughts. Rather than teaching new skills, I help my clients recognise and leverage the abilities they already possess. By gaining new perspectives, they can use these skills in more effective ways. My approach focuses on enhancing self-awareness, clarifying goals, and developing leadership and management skills, equipping my clients with the tools to solve their challenges confidently and effectively.
Interested? Contact me via email and let’s have a meeting.
Everyone can be better
The core model of coaching focuses on raising awareness and setting clear, positive goals. To do this effectively, it is crucial to establish a genuine connection with the client, demonstrating care for both the client and the process we are engaged in. A key responsibility of the coach is to help the client gain clarity—about what they want, their current situation, their goals, and the factors that will support them throughout the process. Curiosity is a powerful motivator for a coach; being genuinely curious about the client’s journey enhances your ability to guide and support them effectively.
Challenging the client’s thoughts and holding them accountable as they make progress is also essential. Confidence in the coaching process, belief in the client’s potential, and a guarantee of confidentiality are all critical to a successful coaching relationship. Both the coach and the client must be committed to the process and the desired outcomes. With this foundation, not only can clear goals be set, but they can also be achieved.
Let's ask questions
Coaching focuses on asking impactful questions rather than knowing all the answers. The strength of these questions comes from intentional preparation, but it’s essential for coaches to avoid overpreparing and relying on an overload of information. Instead, they need to be guided by genuine curiosity to uncover the client’s unique worldview. I aim to understand the coachees perspective before jumping in with solutions, using curiosity-driven questions to foster meaningful exploration and breakthroughs.
I think simplifying coaching by prioritising humanity and curiosity will create transformational change. Identifying clear outcomes helps guide coachees through initial steps toward their goals, considering the wider influence coaching can have on their surroundings. I also think by focusing on understanding and thoughtful inquiry, coaches can amplify their impact, empowering clients effectively.
Powerful reinforcements
Beliefs, whether based on fact or fiction, are human inventions that help us make sense of ourselves and the world. Neuroscience research demonstrates that training and positive reinforcement can change people’s minds and behaviours. When we tell people what to do, we engage only their short-term cognitive memory, and as a result, they often forget much of the information, and it rarely leads to meaningful behavioural change. For instance, consider how many things you know you should be doing but haven’t acted on. Knowledge alone doesn’t transform our perception of ourselves or the world. Coaching is different. It facilitates long-term behavioural change by helping the brain rewire. I think as a person’s neural pathways evolve, their self-image and worldview shift, which in turn drives new behaviours. This lasting transformation is something that simple instructions cannot achieve.
““It’s hard to learn when you already know.””
New pathways
People vary in their level of coachability, so when clients come to me, I look for any sign of willingness. While it’s great when someone is enthusiastic about learning and growth, that isn’t always the case. Coaching provides a safe space where people can fully be themselves, allowing them to see through the fog of fear, doubt, and anger. Through meaningful conversations, clients discover new pathways to achieve their goals. In essence, coaching is often less about behaviour change and more about identity, exploring who someone believes they are and who they aspire to become.
When working with leaders, my approach revolves around a single guiding question:
“Is there one thing you’d like to improve or enhance that we could work on together?”
“Would you be open to learning just one new thing that could make you better?”
“Can you think of one area where you’d really appreciate some support in developing?”
Once clients identify that one thing and experience the benefits of coaching, they often become more open to the process. They realise how valuable coaching is and that it never makes them feel inadequate.
““Where we have strong emotions, we’re liable to fool ourselves.””
The pursuit of happiness
I had a thought-provoking conversation with a friend recently. She asked me about the top five qualities I admire in the people I most enjoy supporting. My answer was clear: they are exceptional at creatively solving problems, prioritise people, make a significant impact in Denmark, and are driven by a strong mission.
Then, she challenged me: Who exemplifies these qualities more than anyone you know? You immediately came to mind. Would you be open to a quick 10-minute call to catch up? Alternatively, we could schedule a 15-minute discovery session, where I'll ask five questions to get a sense of where you are in your professional journey. If you read this post, send me an email for a confidential discovery meeting.