Leadership is not about being the best, leadership is about making everyone else better, and you can’t learn leadership from a textbook or by gaining a certain title or number of years of experience. Leadership and the ability to influence others are a result of understanding people and if we take the time to develop this, it is much easier to influence other people, because you will be able to speak to their purposes and motivations.
As a leader, you cannot do everything yourself in a fast-changing business world. You need a team that takes ownership, that coaches and helps each other to cross the finish line together, that maintains each other’s energy. If you have this kind of culture, where people are also rewarded for these behaviours, then everyone can have the ability to influence change for good, and they will want to do so. I think the Prime Minister of Barbados, Mia Mottley made an excellent speech at the COP26 UN Climate Change Conference in Glasgow, see “When will leaders lead?”.
Preaching to the choir
Think about the times you have sat in an audience - whether in person or on a digital device – listening to a speaker, you are being influenced. It doesn’t matter what they are saying whether you think it is good or bad, how much you agree or disagree with it, you are being influenced. This morning I looked up the word, influence and according to the Oxford English Dictionary, influence means “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.”
Each of us live our lives based on a worldview, and our worldview is essentially one’s spectrum of perceptions from knowledge to beliefs with countless opinions in between. In other words, our worldview consists of our knowledge, our opinions, and our beliefs. And if we have self-confidence, we hold each of these or all of them as truths, not true in that they could be proven, true, in that is how we see it.
Knowledge is what we know with enough certainty and evidence to support it.
Beliefs is what we hold as true, although there is no objective or formal evidence to prove it.
Opinions is what we hold with enough evidence to know that is the way we see things.
I can inform someone’s knowledge and if they disagree, I can support my view with enough evidence to convince them unless they just object no matter what. On the other hand, beliefs are what I believe even when I have no direct evidence to support it. Most of us have had beliefs through our lives that changed and became opinions. Opinions are what we hold as true because we have enough evidence and strong enough beliefs to see something as being proper. We have opinions about everything, for example, sports, relationships, health, parenting, leadership, management, etc. The reason why I have different views today than previously is that I have been persuaded to change many of my opinions through additional evidence and by views of others I trust.
From talk to action
Many people are lacking a connection to their purpose or creating fulfilment in their lives. I love telling stories and I’m passionate about the impact and the effects storytelling has on society. Getting clarity in my message so that I can share it with the right people in the right way, so it can help me grow my impact. I think the biggest communication problem is that we don't listen to understand, we listen to reply as you will never get what you love by attacking what you hate.
As human beings we are moved by emotion, not by information and data. I help people build that emotional connection whether it's in a one to one conversation or if you have to give a presentation in front of many people. Being your true self and conveying the message in a way that is going to connect. Contact me via e-mail for training or workshops about: How to connect with people in ways that influences and moves them?
Persuasion is one of the most important tools in life
According to Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book, “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” there are 6 universal principles of successful influence.
Reciprocity - People want to say “yes” to those who have given to them first, they feel obligated to give back.
Liking - Find commonalities as we prefer to say “yes” to people we like. In a negotiation scenario, finding that common goal ensures that we are more likely to get a better deal.
Authority - We prefer to say “yes” to those individuals who demonstrate competence and are experienced in a particular area.
Social Proof - If our peers are doing something then automatically we think it’s probably a good choice for us.
Scarcity - We want those things that are scarce, rare and not easily accessible.
Consistency - Commitment to being consistent with what we have already said or done publicly.
Persuasion skills are essential for success in every stage of life and are some of the most important skills that you can develop. Persuasion is NOT the ability to convince your opponents to see things your way, that’s manipulation. I think relationships are formed by our ability to listen to others and work in their best interests, and expertise comes with knowledge and experience.
There are some fundamental steps for improving your persuasion skills! I’m currently teaching my son how to frame his position when making a presentation, so that it highlights its benefits to all the stakeholders. And whatever you say must be backed up with evidence, in my opinion, metaphors and storytelling are best when you want to emotionally connect with your audience. Contact me via e-mail, if you are serious about improving your persuasion skills when negotiating mutual solutions.
Play your cards right
Information and data is really important, in reality human beings are moved by emotion. I help people build that emotional connection whether it's in a one to one conversation or if you have to give a presentation in front of many people. By being your true self and conveying your message in a way that is going to connect is easier said than done. What I attempt to do is align everybody, so they are singing from the same hymn sheet, and are working towards the organisation's common mission.
It starts by doing the work within oneself, first question is ‘Who am I?’
Do you know who you want to be as a person? How do you want your life to look? What kind of impact do you want to make on other people? I will guide you in how to look within and understand what experiences have shaped you, and from here, how to present it in a way that is going to affect and elevate others. And ask, ‘Now do I have clarity about my story and why I behave in the way I do?’
Learn how to share a short story that other people in the room can relate to. Demonstrating which parts of your life are relevant to share and when to show your vulnerability are essential ingredients of storytelling.
What do you stand for? In other words, what do you believe in so strongly that regardless of the circumstances around you, you will stand up for that principle?
When people know that this is what you stand for irrespective of circumstances or your own personal gain they will gravitate towards you, they will trust you more.
My work revolves around growing your influence and building trust with people you work with. Be connected to your story, what shaped you and know what you stand for and believe so strongly that you will bring it naturally every day. Contact me via e-mail for coaching, consulting, workshops or lecturing about storytelling.