rejection

Learn how to deal with no

Human beings fear two things more than anything else in the world: death and rejection. And research has shown that people fear rejection more than death, this is because we are biologically and historically wired to avoid getting thrown out of the tribe, so we do everything in our power to net get rejected. I think we have to change our interpretation of rejection as our brains are always trying to interpret everything – What does this mean and how can I protect you? Unfortunately, the brain is not always our best friend, so we have to learn how to reframe the stories we tell ourselves. Contact me via e-mail for sales training and workshops.

““Asking is the beginning of receiving. Ask the question, receive the answer. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” ”
— Jim Rohn
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Overcoming rejection

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There are three ways we experience rejection:

1)    Real rejection

2)    Perceived rejection

3)    Anticipated rejection

Whether the rejection is anticipated, perceived or real, it creates an emotional response. The hardest part of the selling process, which is top of the funnel is interrupting a stranger and asking them for their time – emotional control in these situations is of paramount importance. I cannot teach you how to take away the “sting” of the client saying “no” when you are reaching out to clients, but what I can teach you are frameworks that you can use in context to control the emotion and flip the buyer’s script, so you can ask again and get what you want. When I have leveraged this for sales teams, I have seen results exponentially increase with the number of meetings the sales team gets. 

Nobody likes rejection

Acceptance is one of the fundamental human needs, and it can influence individuals to pursue various career paths. Although sales may be a popular profession, claiming to "love rejection" during an interview is questionable, as it implies a desire for pain or a mere attempt to sound impressive. In reality, rejection is an inevitable aspect of sales, but successful salespeople are those who are willing to endure it in order to succeed. Not everyone can handle the emotional strain of prospecting and facing rejection regularly, which is why many individuals, including some salespeople, shy away from it.   

Rejection is not final

The majority of people are not born to sell, selling is something that we have to learn to do, and rejection is a critical component of sales. I see rejection as nothing more than redirection, as you can’t sell an expensive product to people who don’t have the money! If you know who your target market is then you know that they need the product and you know what their price point is, therefore, it’s all in the presentation - your pitch fixes product and price. Rejection is an indicator that something is wrong, either the product, target market or price because you are not focussing on the right target market or again your product or service presentation is not where it should be.

Are you struggling to deal with sales rejection? Contact me via e-mail to arrange a confidential 1:1 meeting to discuss your challenges.

The corridors of uncertainty

What are you afraid of, fear of rejection or loss, fear of criticism?
All intelligent people are afraid of something. I think people who are dominated by the fear of failure us an enormous amount of energy to justify or cover up their mistakes as they cannot deal with the fact that they have made a mistake. Others are preoccupied by the fears of rejection and are so sensitive of how they appear to others, they don’t have the ability to take any independent actions and refrain from doing anything until they are certain that someone else will approve.

 

By objectively analysing your fears you will begin the process of eliminating them, as anything you practice repeatedly will eventually become a new habit. Make a list and organise your fears in order of importance. Here a few example questions:
·      Which fear has the greatest impact on your thinking?
·      How does this fear hold you back?
·      How does this fear help you?
·      How would you benefit by eliminating this fear?
Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.

New mindset, new results

When somebody says no to you, don’t take it personally, in my mind when they say, no - I say next, which means when you say no to me, I’m just going to move onto the next client or opportunity. There’s so much business out there, so are so many potential customers to go after, you just have to have the abundance mindset. 

 

Always reflect on why you lost the sale when you are rejected. And ask: What could I have done better? I will always encourage you to reflect on why you lost that deal but don’t just sit there and beat yourself up about being rejected. The real sales mindset is that the rejection is not about you and rejection is part of the game, that’s why you are in sales - if you don’t like rejection, you really shouldn’t be in sales.

Dealing with rejection

A study by the Sales Benchmark Index concluded that only 13% are natural born salespeople, that means that 87% have to work at it, learn how to sell and rejection is part of the learning process. Most salespeople hate to be rejected, they hate how they feel after putting all that time and effort into that deal or relationship and then the client says no. Rejection is one of those things that we all know can install self-doubt, but when people reject your product or service, they are not rejecting you - don’t take it personally, stop being so egotistical, it’s about your product or service.

 

Would you like to learn how to shift your paradigm and view rejection as an indicator that something is not right? Rejection is an indicator that you are doing something wrong. I think that customers will reject you in sales based on three things: product, presentation (sales pitch) or price and it hardly ever has anything to do with you personally, so don’t get emotional when you lose a sale.

1. The product is not aligned with what they want or need. and the way to fix that is by improving your pitch.
2. The price, as maybe they can’t afford it.
3. A good presentation consists of you showing the customer how your product or service is going to help them increase their revenue, reduce their costs and/or expand their market share.

 

Most salespeople blame the product or the price for being rejected, and both of these can be fixed with a great sales pitch (presentation). It’s never really about the product unless you are selling to the wrong market but if you know who your target market is you know it’s not the product. And if you are targeting the right people in the right market segment and in the right demographics then you’ll know that it isn’t really about the price. If you are being rejected the indicator is that one of those 3 are broken and it’s most likely it’s the pitch.

In the face of rejection

Illustration by Dawn Kim

Illustration by Dawn Kim

Have you ever been told that you are not good enough or that you are not the right fit for our organisation? Whether the rejection we experience is large or small, one thing remains constant - it always hurts, and it usually hurts more than we expect it to. Facing rejection requires courage to stay focused on the bigger picture as most rejections, whether romantic, professional, and even social, are due to “fit” and circumstance.


It’s easy to stop when the world slaps you hard in the face and says, we don’t want you. It’s not what they say about you that limits you the most, its that you may believe it and start saying it to yourself. Steve Jobs said in his famous Stanford University commencement speech, "Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”


I am a person with more than one gift, I am a person with more than one talent and I am a person with more than one pursuit. There is more in you than your job, there’s more in you than what you do and it’s your duty to yourself to discover your potential and explore all of these possibilities. I encourage you to explore yourself, I encourage you to explore your world and articulate this to your audience.