What do you really want to do, and why do you want to do it?
I think to bridge the gap between your current position and your desired outcome, it's crucial to identify the reasons behind your inaction. Let's be honest about the possible barriers:
1) Fear
2) Limited belief in your capabilities
3) Feeling overwhelmed due to anger or resentment
4) Bad habits
5) Lack of skills
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Image c/o Very Well Mind
Atychiphobia is the scientific word for the fear of failure. Atychiphobia is a constant, overwhelming feeling of dread that accompanies the undertaking of projects or pursuit of life goals. We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else. Our fears tend to paralyse us, holding us back from taking constructive action in the direction of our dreams and goals. When we are scared, we hesitate, we become indecisive and procrastinate, we make excuses and find reasons to delay. Finally, we feel frustrated when caught in the double knot of “I have to” but “I can’t” or vice-versa.
Please note that when you say, “I can’t”, then I consider it to mean you have a fear of failure. And when you say, “I have to”, it means that you have a fear of rejection.
Rest and relaxation build courage and confidence as much as any other factors. All intelligent people are afraid of something, it is normal and natural to be concerned about your physical, emotional, and financial survival. A courageous person is not a person who is unafraid, the question is how you deal with fear. The courageous person is just the person who goes forward despite of fear. Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.
I have learned that when you confront your fears and move towards what you are afraid of, your fears diminish whilst at the same time your self-esteem and self-confidence increases. However, when you avoid the thing you fear, the fear grows, and it will begin to control every aspect of your life. And as your fear increases, your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-respect diminishes accordingly. Therefore, I think that if you do not do the thing, you fear then fear will control your life. Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.
What are you afraid of, fear of rejection or loss, fear of criticism?
All intelligent people are afraid of something. I think people who are dominated by the fear of failure us an enormous amount of energy to justify or cover up their mistakes as they cannot deal with the fact that they have made a mistake. Others are preoccupied by the fears of rejection and are so sensitive of how they appear to others, they don’t have the ability to take any independent actions and refrain from doing anything until they are certain that someone else will approve.
By objectively analysing your fears you will begin the process of eliminating them, as anything you practice repeatedly will eventually become a new habit. Make a list and organise your fears in order of importance. Here a few example questions:
· Which fear has the greatest impact on your thinking?
· How does this fear hold you back?
· How does this fear help you?
· How would you benefit by eliminating this fear?
Contact me via e-mail to book coaching, mentoring or 1:1 sparring sessions.
Some have argued that courage should include overcoming a fear, while others have suggested that fear may or may not be present in the courageous act. Daniel Putnam in his book, “Psychological Courage” from 2004 stated that "courage involves deliberate choice in the face of painful or fearful circumstances for the sake of a worthy goal."
The 6 types of courage
Physical Courage
To keep going with balance, resilience, and awareness.
Social Courage
To be yourself unapologetically.
Moral Courage
Doing the right thing even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular.
Emotional Courage
Feeling all your emotions both positive and negative without guilt or attachment.
Intellectual Courage
To learn, unlearn and relearn with an open and flexible mind.
Spiritual Courage
Living with purpose and meaning through a heart centered approach towards all life and oneself.
Throughout my life people with guts have been solving problems, so I think courage is the choice and willingness to confront uncertainty, intimidation, danger, and pain.
F.E.A.R. is an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real”.
There's no true threat of immediate physical danger, no threat of a loss of someone or something dear to us, actually nothing there at all. F.E.A.R. is an illusion. Something we fabricate in our own minds and pretend is real. Fear is something normal, your reaction to fear tells you who you are…
All our unfulfilled dreams, constitute a limitation on what we are and could become. Usually it’s fear and it’s close cousin, anxiety, that keep us from doing those things that would make us happy. The things we long to do - educate ourselves, become successful in our work, fall in love - are goals shared by all. The things we are afraid to try usually are made up of broken promises to ourselves. Yet the means to achieve these things are not obscure. Why don’t we do what is necessary to become the people we want to be?
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
Most people are stuck in life because of fear, fear of everything outside their comfort zones. We are exposed and vulnerable when crossing a bridge; that keeps many of us from crossing to where our dreams live. Our minds have a way of rising to the occasion - challenge it - and it will reward you. Our dreams transport us to magical places that we try to capture in music, film and art, but we only dream when we sleep deeply. I think you should focus more on why you want your dreams to come true, rather than on how to make them come true. When we do this, the “hows” happen in a miraculous way.
Somebody once told me years ago, the greatest motivator is fear, and he meant in business. People need to be afraid of you and afraid that they are going to lose their job, otherwise they won’t do what they need to do. I think that’s terrible way to treat people and I don’t that’s for anyone. You want to work, you work for it, and you want to work for other people with the same conditions.
The most exciting part of life is learning, and being a better listener, being a better partner, being a better father, being a better leader, being a better friend, being a better colleague. We should all aspire to never be satisfied with where we are and always try to be better. I’m fully aware that things in business do not change overnight. It’s a momentum, it’s like exercise, it’s like parenting. It’s hard work and you don’t always get to see the results of all that labour, stress and sacrifice, but you get these little glimmers that you realise it’s all worth it, and that’s the point.
I don’t think it’s possible to overstate the importance, and the power, and the potential of creating a work environment where people feel valued and respected and have the opportunity to be fulfilled in their work. And it makes no difference whether you’re in the service or manufacturing business, at the end of the day everyone wants to be part of something. And if you give me an opportunity to play a meaningful role, I’m going to give you 150%. When you know somebody trusts you, it’s like you are raising your game to meet their expectations of you. And any organisation powered by people who care and are cared for is a lot better place to work, it’s a better place to buy things from, it’s just a better place.
Image: via standard.co.uk
I think that if your dreams are big enough they will not get completed during your lifetime. For some human beings the song in their heart will die if the situations around them does not work out the way they think it should happen.
Your inner experience should not be determined by what is happening around you. In the very nature of things, life is made in such a way that the outside will never happen 100% the way you want. And it should be that way, as if everything happened 100% your way - where do I go, where does everyone else go? Sometimes it goes your way, sometimes it goes my way, sometimes it goes someone else’s way - everything is fine.
What do you want for yourself could be either blissful or miserable!
Remember fundamentally everyone wants the same thing: Pleasantness within themselves and pleasantness around them. I think what you want for yourself is the highest level of pleasantness 100% clear - the highest level of pleasantness.
· If pleasantness happens in our body we call it health, and if it becomes very pleasant we call it pleasure.
· If our mind becomes pleasant we call it peace, and if it becomes very pleasant we call it joy.
· If our emotions becomes pleasant we call it love, and if it becomes very pleasant we call it compassion.
· If our life energies becomes pleasant we call it bliss, and if it becomes very pleasant we call it ecstasy.
· If our surroundings becomes pleasant we call it success and this is all that we want in our life.
The outside pleasantness is determined by many forces, not just by ourselves. And all of these forces must cooperate to create outside pleasantness, but to create inner pleasantness we do not need anybody’s cooperation, just ourself!
This one thing, if we can make it happen will enhance our dream in such a way that it could not be fulfilled in one lifetime. The fear of suffering is what is making people dream small, think small, work small because if I dream big and it doesn’t happen what will happen to me.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW IF YOU KNEW THAT YOU COULD NOT FAIL?
How would you answer this question? You can share your answer here or you can keep it to yourself, but mostly I hope you do something about it.
The Same Old Cycle
