coaching

Look Inside

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Just imagine if we changed our opinion on suffering and from now on we think that suffering is awesome. Some of the greatest people on earth have suffered the most, for example, Nelson Mandela. Difficult times, pain, failure and loss can be looked upon as learnings, perhaps even as purification in preparation for personal heroism.

How would your life be if you were given the tools to use disappointment, difficulty and heartbreak as a crutch to strengthen yourself? If everything that hurts you, you used to make yourself a better person. The inner work is how you move through the blocks of your shadows that are covering your primal genius. ”The more you sweat in training, the less you will bleed in war.” - Navy Seals

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As children, we live through our heart as we grow older we move out of our hearts and into our heads, we are taught to numb our feelings and live in our heads. In my opinion, great art, great architecture, great business, great lives don't just come from our heads, they come from our hearts, our passion, our feelings and our gratitude. I can resonate with Jay Shetty when he says, ”We are wired for generosity but educated for greed.”

I recently asked a medical doctor, “What is in charge - your head or your heart?” He answered, “the head” and I disagreed and bravely challenged him. I said, “You can find people in your profession, who are hospitalised, still alive but clinically brain dead. I am sure that you would agree with me that when your heart stops it’s over and out!”

Succeeding in life and battle is all about training, preparation and putting in the work needed to rise above the adversities that each one of us will face during our lifetimes. Contact me here to book a 1:1 session…

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We Are All Fragile

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Today, all the FA Cup matches will start with a minute’s silence to bring awareness to mental health issues. I wonder what are the effects of stabbings, shootings and gang-related incidents on young males who have been conditioned not to speak their peers about emotional issues? Now as a Londoner who has been living in Copenhagen for 23 years where ethnic minorities, in general, are also not integrated within mainstream society, I have been observing disenfranchised men for decades.

How hurt we feel about our loss and if we do express it in any way then it is expected to be in a masculine way, for example, retaliation, revenge, speaking about retribution, etc., and that’s what we have been teaching each other for years. Perhaps this is why we have such a high rate of suicide amongst men because the dialogue is just not there. We are not speaking amongst ourselves about emotional issues, being open with one another about how we feel. Speaking up may not solve everything but it will definitely help!

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Many of us have heard about soldiers who served in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria who returned ”home” with post-traumatic stress disorder. I think that there are similarities between war zones and the everyday battle young men are facing in our inner cities. The trauma of thinking that if they look at somebody in the ”wrong” way, they may be stabbed - this mindset are making people do some really crazy stuff. I can engage with these youngsters on their level, I can give them focus and aspiration because if we can change their mental game then we can change their external world.

We are all fragile, we all have traumas and it’s easy to judge people we see struggling with addictions, weight issues, self-esteem, etc. We have all been in a bad place in our heads, take a moment to think about that time in your life and just imagine how far you would have fallen you if didn’t have a support structure around you. There are many of us who think that we have got it together, we should all remember that we are only a few steps away from losing it all. 

Fear is a condition for those we help, contact me here to book a 1:1 session...