Mindset affects your resilience

Which mindset do you have?

In her book “Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential”, Carol Dweck (author and psychologist) challenges conventional thinking by exploring the concepts of fixed and growth mindsets and how they shape our attitudes, behaviours, and outcomes. I think it’s an oversimplification to think that we can only have one mindset. Most people believe they either have a growth or fixed mindset, but research shows we possess both. At times, we operate with a fixed mindset, and at other times, we adopt a growth mindset.

““Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.””

— Bernard Baruch

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Changing of the guard

“A single move in the right direction can change your entire life.”

— Burrellism

We are not robots, we are human beings with emotions, feelings, and personalities, and sometimes you will clash with people in your workplace. I think it’s OK to say, “I don’t know!” As the illusion of knowledge is more dangerous than ignorance. There’s no shame in that as the only shame is to pretend that we know everything.

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Be extremely clear

Write down your goals, the more detailed the better and be flexible about the process of achieving them. Always be open and remain sensitive to the possibility of serendipitous events and I think, one should also be open to inspiration and inputs from other people. The best leaders I have encountered share some of the same characteristics, they are good listeners, they ask lots of questions and they take in all the information possible before making up their minds or concluding. When they make a mistake, these leaders also admit failure and cut their losses quickly so that they can move onto bigger and better things.

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Basic goal setting

When setting a proper goal whether it be for your career, physical, spiritual, social, family, intellectual, or financial well being, you need to make sure it follows this simple format:

S – Specific

M – Measurable

A – Achievable

R – Realistic

T – Timely

I think a good way to ensure you’re able to stick to your goals is by setting SMART goals. Do something today that is going to move you out of your comfort zone and put you one step closer to achieving the goals you have set for yourself.

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Learning new things

Happiness is not simply the absence of despair; it’s an affirmative state in which our lives have both meaning and pleasure. Most people know what is good for them and they know what will make them feel better. Most people don’t avoid meaningful life habits because of ignorance of their value, but because they are no longer “motivated” to do them. They are waiting until they feel better and frequently this is an extremely long wait. 

HAPPY PEOPLE:
·      Express gratitude
·      Cultivate optimism
·      Avoid over thinking
·      Practice kindness
·      Nurture relationships
·      Learn to forgive 


Many experiences in life that bring happiness are in your control. The more choices you are able to exercise, and control, the happier you are likely to be. You are responsible for your own life experiences, whether you are seeking a meaningful life or a happy life. I think that virtually all the happiness-producing processes in our lives take time, usually a long time, for example, changing old behaviours, building new relationships, raising children, etc. This is why patience and determination are among life’s primary virtues. Contact me via e-mail when you ready to install acceptance, gratitude and accomplishment into yourself or organisation.

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Money makes the world go around

“Money won’t make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.”

— Zig Ziglar

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Plant the seed of hope

c/o Adobe stock photos

On this journey called life.
Take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad,
Appreciate what you have and let go of what you had,
Always forgive and never look back,
Things change, 
Things go wrong but your path goes on.

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From small acorns mighty oaks grow

Photo via @frkbajer

What values are found in good people?
In my opinion, there is no such thing as a good person. The idea of what we constitute as “good” is not correct because a good person is someone who is trying to improve. And no matter how “good” you are, there is always room for improvement, therefore, the real goodness is in the attempt, it’s in the process.

I think that we learn things painfully and when we learn things painfully a part of us has to die and that’s the pain. For example, when a relationship dream is shattered, a huge part of us that constituted that dream has to be stripped away and destroyed. Life is a constant procession of change and to fully participate in it, you have to allow yourself to be redeemed by it.

Metaphorically speaking, the good is the process of death and rebirth voluntarily undertaken – you are not as good as you could be, so let part of you die. I am fully aware that the thing that emerges in its place is something better. The secret of human beings, unlike any other species is that we can let our old selves die and let our new selves be born, and that is exactly what we need to do.

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What Have I Become?

The COVID-19 pandemic has been a time for reflection. I am fully aware that opportunity is always mixed with difficulty, therefore, the only time when things will change is when I change. “I am not a product of my circumstances I am a product of my decisions.” – Stephen Covey


I had an epiphany last week that made me think about the meaning of my life and what have I become. The voice said, “You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are and unless you change what you are, you’ll always have what you’ve got.” I know that the major key to my better future is me, and in my case true happiness is not contained in what I get, happiness is contained in what I become. I immediately knew that I had to start working on myself and as there are only 24 hours in a day, time was not the issue. You cannot get more time, but you can create more value as we primarily get paid for the value we bring to the marketplace. We have plenty of energy to do the things that we really want to do as motivation creates energy.

The Last Dance - Netflix

What are my life goals? How can you hit a target that I don’t have? How to set goals and how to achieve them? I know that you have to have your goals in place to get what you want, and I have to set the kind of goals that will mean something by achieving them. I have to start by making myself comfortable with being uncomfortable as when you let yourself get comfortable with your way of life, you miss out on what you could accomplish when you keep reaching for the next golden ring. One has to eliminate all the negative influences in your life and that also means friends who are dragging you down and keeping you from reaching your goals.

1. Identify exactly what you want.

2. Why do you want to reach this goal?

3. What are the obstacles you need to overcome in order to achieve this goal?

4. What are the skills and knowledge required to reach this goal?

5. Who are the people, groups, organisations you need to work with in order to achieve this goal?

6. What is the plan of action required to achieve this goal?

7. When is the completion date?

Your goals could be physical, mental, spiritual, social, family, career or financial. Are you committed to reaching your goals? When you have a solid base with a solid commitment and solid objectives then you have a much better chance of reaching your goals. Please do not confuse activity with accomplishment! Have you written out your clearly defined goals? Yes? If no, why not? Is it because of fear, a poor self-image, no desire or just because you don’t know how? Would you like some guidance with how to set your goals? I am interested in building characters and developing leaders. Contact sb@stephenburrell.com

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Look Inside

Just imagine if we changed our opinion on suffering and from now on we think that suffering is awesome. Some of the greatest people on earth have suffered the most, for example, Nelson Mandela. Difficult times, pain, failure and loss can be looked upon as learnings, perhaps even as purification in preparation for personal heroism.

How would your life be if you were given the tools to use disappointment, difficulty and heartbreak as a crutch to strengthen yourself? If everything that hurts you, you used to make yourself a better person. The inner work is how you move through the blocks of your shadows that are covering your primal genius. ”The more you sweat in training, the less you will bleed in war.” - Navy Seals

As children, we live through our heart as we grow older we move out of our hearts and into our heads, we are taught to numb our feelings and live in our heads. In my opinion, great art, great architecture, great business, great lives don't just come from our heads, they come from our hearts, our passion, our feelings and our gratitude. I can resonate with Jay Shetty when he says, ”We are wired for generosity but educated for greed.”

I recently asked a medical doctor, “What is in charge - your head or your heart?” He answered, “the head” and I disagreed and bravely challenged him. I said, “You can find people in your profession, who are hospitalised, still alive but clinically brain dead. I am sure that you would agree with me that when your heart stops it’s over and out!”

Succeeding in life and battle is all about training, preparation and putting in the work needed to rise above the adversities that each one of us will face during our lifetimes. Contact me here to book a 1:1 session…

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We Are All Fragile

Today, all the FA Cup matches will start with a minute’s silence to bring awareness to mental health issues. I wonder what are the effects of stabbings, shootings and gang-related incidents on young males who have been conditioned not to speak their peers about emotional issues? Now as a Londoner who has been living in Copenhagen for 23 years where ethnic minorities, in general, are also not integrated within mainstream society, I have been observing disenfranchised men for decades.

How hurt we feel about our loss and if we do express it in any way then it is expected to be in a masculine way, for example, retaliation, revenge, speaking about retribution, etc., and that’s what we have been teaching each other for years. Perhaps this is why we have such a high rate of suicide amongst men because the dialogue is just not there. We are not speaking amongst ourselves about emotional issues, being open with one another about how we feel. Speaking up may not solve everything but it will definitely help!

Many of us have heard about soldiers who served in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria who returned ”home” with post-traumatic stress disorder. I think that there are similarities between war zones and the everyday battle young men are facing in our inner cities. The trauma of thinking that if they look at somebody in the ”wrong” way, they may be stabbed - this mindset are making people do some really crazy stuff. I can engage with these youngsters on their level, I can give them focus and aspiration because if we can change their mental game then we can change their external world.

We are all fragile, we all have traumas and it’s easy to judge people we see struggling with addictions, weight issues, self-esteem, etc. We have all been in a bad place in our heads, take a moment to think about that time in your life and just imagine how far you would have fallen you if didn’t have a support structure around you. There are many of us who think that we have got it together, we should all remember that we are only a few steps away from losing it all. 

Fear is a condition for those we help, contact me here to book a 1:1 session...

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