While offering help shows generosity, asking for help fosters deeper trust because it reveals vulnerability and invites collaboration. For instance, a manager who admits they need input on a challenging project gives their team a chance to contribute, making them feel valued and trusted. Similarly, asking a colleague for advice on solving a problem strengthens the bond between you, as it shows respect for their expertise. Trust thrives in these moments of mutual exchange, creating a stronger sense of connection and teamwork. I think we don’t build trust by offering help; we build trust by asking for help.
I like being a sounding board
c/o GETTY IMAGES
Why do organisations promote someone who’s not good with people?
Many people are promoted for their expertise rather than their ability to connect with others. I think promoting someone who doesn’t genuinely like people is a mistake. Often, resistance to change stems from a fear of losing one’s identity as the “expert.” People worry, “If I’m not the one who knows everything, who am I? Will I still be valued, or will people think I don’t deserve this position without all the answers?”
In reality, employees don’t expect their leaders to have all the answers. In fact, they often wish their leaders would ask, “What do you think?” Yet, many leaders are held back by the fear that asking this question might make them seem less competent. Ironically, the act of inviting input adds tremendous value, as it encourages collaboration and helps leaders process ideas more effectively by thinking out loud with their team.
A better understanding
I think an act of curiosity is an act of vulnerability, and true empowerment means stepping away from power and the spotlight to let others realise their potential, rather than solving the problem for them. Share your story, preserve its integrity, and control its narrative.
““The harm is in the unwanted help or helping them when they need to figure things out for themselves. Help is the sunny side of control.””
The real deal
Many people think vulnerability was a repellent, and I think it’s the world’s greatest magnet as it brings everybody to you. Nowadays, the greatest supply in the world is the opposite of vulnerability - it’s curating our lives on social media, and only showing the best parts of being successful and having picturesque holidays. On the other hand, the things that are in the highest demand are the things that we can relate to in 99% of our lives - the struggles, insecurities, doubts, etc. These are the elements in highest demand yet in lowest supply. When someone shares their struggles it increases oxytocin levels and we feel more connected to them.
““You cannot transmit something you haven’t got.””
Business as usual
Today marks the end of Copenhagen Fashion Week and I think that part of being an artist is about bringing more personality into the work we do. Let’s be clear here, I don’t need to know anything about your sexuality or where you live, all I need to know is how you open yourself up and put an emotion on the table. A good example is Apple, they don’t make cheap and replaceable products - Apple comes out with products that welcome personal criticism and when I say personal, I mean I made this and for someone else to say I hate that. Nowadays, we are too focussed on how to avoid criticism and not focussed enough on how I make a difference.
After visiting the trade fairs on Wednesday, I came home out with the feeling that safety was paramount this season. There were many beautiful collections, polished with no edge, it almost felt as though they had been designed by a committee. And the designers were saying, “It’s not my fault”, there’s no vulnerability there, I really missed the collections which said metaphorically, I can stand up against the system and I show vulnerability. This made me think about Brené Brown’s wonderful Ted Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability” which has now been viewed almost 55 million times. I also think that vulnerability means putting something into the world and being willing to let the world respond or react. Do you dare to be different? Contact me via e-mail for a deeper dive into how you can make a difference, but only if you dare.
Quote of the day
Love Is A Dirty Word In Business
For many, love is a dirty word in business. Bringing love into the workplace, it’s platonic, but it’s there. I love these people and I am going to support them doing great work and we are going to do this together. According to Richard Branson, “Customers should not be first, employees should be first because if you take care of your employees, your employees will take care of your customers.”
Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so!
Having a deep purpose to the why we do things, it’s not just a job, it’s not just a salary. I understand that these things are so important and people get caught up in working for organizations because they have obligations - but there is a choice about picking something that you are passionate about. And then the human connection, recognizing your own humility - I think Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability Ted Talk from 2010 sums it up quite nicely.