“Your results are just an outcome, they are not your worth.”
We all have the same basic needs
The six basic human needs provide a practical key for discovering one’s needs, behaviours, values and beliefs. They are the vehicles we use to meet our needs and these needs underlie and inspire every choice we make.
The first four are the needs of the personality and the final two needs are those of the Spirit:
Certainty - Everybody wants avoid pain and have assurance that our basic needs are met.
Uncertainty - We also crave variety, excitement and new stimuli.
Significance - We all need to feel unique, special and important.
Connection - We want to be loved and cared for and want a feeling of closeness with like-minded people.
Growth - We all have a need to grow and expand in our personal and professional lives.
Contribution - We have a desire to serve and support someone or something bigger than ourselves in a meaningful way.
Reality check
This quotation has been rumbling around my head for years and it’s so true.
“It is your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny. ”
R.E.S.P.E.C.T
“Successful people work hard to earn respect, but they freely give it to every human being they come across. Showing respect, even to people who haven’t earned it earns you the respect of people who have.”
Thank you for all you’ve done for me
Today is my mother’s funeral.
Time is short, opportunity is scarce and the number of opportunities that we get to help somebody to find their story, that they can live inside, remember and elevate are very small.
Thanks mum ❤️
I travel light
I don’t think that complete objectivity is possible! That’s a massive statement, but in reality If I led a media channel, for example, even if I didn’t mean for it to, it would naturally reflect some of my passions. So, when you have similarly educated people with similar backgrounds running all of the main media institutions, even if they don’t intend it, the outcome will obviously be biased. This week’s UEFA EURO 2020 Semi-Final between England and Denmark showed the problems with nationalism and how it makes people delusional and ugly. It’s hard to get better until you become humble.
I think the beauty of an action comes not only from when it becomes a habit, but also from its sensitivity, consciousness, clarity of perception and accuracy of response. The older I get, the more I realise that I am not compelled by any conditioning or programming from my past experiences or from my culture. Jamaican parent, British societal values and Danish awakening has stamped everything on me, fortunately, I am now in a position where I no longer react on the basis of my upbringing. I have learned how to experience things fully, both good and bad experiences. How to learn from them and then drop them, and move on to the next moment, uninfluenced by the previous ones. I travel light as I am uninfluenced by labels and titles, I just treat people with respect.
An “A” = 12 in Denmark
It's been one of those days
Even after 24 years of living in Copenhagen and being fluent, both oral and written. I am still surprised when confronted with the fact, that they will be always be biased towards a native Dane. “Birds of a feather flock together!”
Life is a banquet
Image via Shutterstock
I’m in the process of writing an obituary for my mother and there are so many things that I could write. I have just forwarded the first draft to my sisters for some input, as I need their opinions. I think that if you and your loved ones are healthy, you have a family that loves you, some good friends, food on your table and a roof over your head - then you are richer than you think.
We are the richest people on earth and we don’t even realise! And when I say this, it means that we are alive when we can see the moon and the stars at night. Please make sure that you take the time to appreciate these gifts, nourish yourselves with nature, with your breath, with quiet and stillness. This will give you the energy to deal with your pain and challenges.
R.I.P mum
After many years of illness, yesterday my mother closed her eyes for the last time 😕. We have lost our beloved wife, mother, sister, auntie, cousin, grandmother and great grandmother 💔. It’s a sad day for all of us who knew her 🤎.
The struggle is real
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost or you can accept that, and try to put together something that’s good. ”
One of my favourite poems
c/o BBC
“Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.”
Face it
I was recently humbled when one of Danish my friends introduced me as a “knowledge seeking gentleman”. I’m fully aware that I have had a rich lifestyle and have always strived for excellence in everything I do, even so, to be honest I was a little taken aback. Does this mean that I am still not comfortable being the hero of the story, or are the words of coach John Wooden too deeply engraved in my consciousness?
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. - John Wooden”
I will leave a legacy
I want to leave a legacy because my life matters and my legacy will be passed on by the people that I have met on my journey. My legacy is pouring whatever I have experienced into whoever is listening and that’s proof that I was here. And if at the end of my life I have added something to your life that made you move forward then I contributed towards your journey. Whenever anyone asks about your journey, you will tell them about this guy you met and that’s how we as people have survived for centuries. My forefathers withstood slavery and so many other atrocities because in the mindst of all the horrendous things we experienced, we still clapped our hands and sang our songs. We still managed to be creative and we are still here! My people have been through lynching, rapes, burnings and killings. My legacy is that we danced and sang and survived. We had opposition, trouble and tears, and I don’t have to write anymore about that.
Agony will always find you on its own, its ecstacy and happiness that has to have your name on it. I’m sending you the potential to go beyond agony to the ecstacy of fulfilling everything you were created to be and that’s my legacy. It’s in the people that heard me, it’s in my children, it’s in my friends and colleagues. I write like I speak and it always sounds like I am having a conversation with a friend. I’m easy to find both online and offline, and if you can't find me it’s because I’m dead. I will be fruitful as long as I’m alive and can move, making the best use of my resources and time.
When you label me, you deny me!
We are so obsessed by what was and I think that it’s something to be said if you are living and learning. You have to deal with cross generational realities even though we’re in different stages of life. Just because I am a person of faith it doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of doubt. And because you may be a person of doubt, it doesn't mean you don’t have moments of faith. It takes faith to sit down on a chair, I don’t know anybody who checks a chair to see whether it will bear their weight before sitting down. You cannot exist without faith!
“Once you label me you negate me. - Søren Kierkegaard ”
Once we learn to label and we teach what that label means, now we’re trying to live up to being in that label. You have a gift and don’t lock it up inside just to please a small group of people. Keep speaking until somebody listens, keep singing until somebody claps and keep painting until somebody stares.
Your DNA does not change
via The Guardian
We all have the same DNA sequence as when we were born, what makes each of us unique is the interplay between our DNA and environment. My experiences have taught me that it’s not, '“Can you go with me, it’s can you grow with me?” It’s only when we have shared philosophies, the seasons will change our reality. Unfortunately, many of us keep trying to hold onto our last season without discovering the beauty of the season we are in now. Eternal youth is not real, there is nothing wrong with being 40, especially if you explore 40 and re-pivot into the beauty of being 40. And if you are still in doubt, just ask an 80 year old.
Stages and ages have repercussions on how we get along. We are constantly in motion, we are constantly evolving and are constantly becoming, so we should not look back at the transition with envy. I think getting older is something that should be celebrated and getting old is a gift. Sometimes we forget that, and as time goes on is inevitable, it’s not going to stop for us. I think we can either embrace the process or not and personally, I don’t want to miss the beauty of grey hair and love through wrinkled eyes.
Tomorrow can never be the same as yesterday
As a person of colour living in Denmark I really don’t understand why whole idea of racial injustice is not being thoroughly investigated. The locals think it’s not my problem and the culture is very seductive. We will always have these two things competing against each other! The game to keep things same and safe, and my game to make things interesting and better.
Tolerance is not about not having beliefs. It is about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you. Sometimes we think that as creative people discipline stifles creativity. I think that discipline allows us to focus on what matters, and when we focus on what matters, we get more clarity and space in our minds to be creative.
Tolerance
““Tolerance is not about not having beliefs. It is about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you.” - Burrellism”
I lost my wallet
Yesterday, I lost my Commes des Garçons wallet which I bought in Tokyo (2016). The DKK 500 and various coins is of little significance compared to the lucky Viking coin my son gave to me when he was in 1st Grade. It’s the first time that I have lost anything and I am extremely grateful that I live in Denmark. The Danish technology system is excellent and the ease of access made the process of cancelling my credit card and travel card so easy. Ordering a replacement identity card and driving license was no problem. The psychological impact of my loss is greater than the financial burden of the replacement cards.
In today’s world, possessions increasingly reflect who people are or at least how they would like to see themselves. How much we see our possessions as an extension of ourselves may depend in part in how confident we feel about who we are. I will never forget the memories attached to my faithful companion who was with me 24/7 for the best part of 5 years and I still live in hope that my wallet will be found and returned to me by a kind soul. Only time will tell…
Walk and talk
Our “Amarminoen” tour began at 10.10am this morning outside DR Byen metro station on a 24 km hiking trail through beautiful forests, marshlands, beaches. We had sunshine and wind, it’s an amazing adventure ending with beers in Dragør (a picturesque seaside town). I’m so grateful to the Flanuer guys for welcoming me into their group and that I live in Copenhagen.