Everyone can be better

The core model of coaching focuses on raising awareness and setting clear, positive goals. To do this effectively, it is crucial to establish a genuine connection with the client, demonstrating care for both the client and the process we are engaged in. A key responsibility of the coach is to help the client gain clarity—about what they want, their current situation, their goals, and the factors that will support them throughout the process. Curiosity is a powerful motivator for a coach; being genuinely curious about the client’s journey enhances your ability to guide and support them effectively.

Challenging the client’s thoughts and holding them accountable as they make progress is also essential. Confidence in the coaching process, belief in the client’s potential, and a guarantee of confidentiality are all critical to a successful coaching relationship. Both the coach and the client must be committed to the process and the desired outcomes. With this foundation, not only can clear goals be set, but they can also be achieved.

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Success follows the bold

I think you have control when you take charge of your life, emotions, and goals, as this helps you stay calm and confident in tough situations. One has to stay focused on your goals and stick to good habits as this commitment enables you to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward. Challenge yourself to see difficulties as opportunities for growth and be eager to try new things and push yourself to improve. The belief in yourself and your abilities builds confidence, which is crucial for staying strong during tough times and persevering even after making mistakes.

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Kindness is a strength

I think practicing kindness and humility allows us to grow as individuals as it helps us cultivate self-awareness. When we understand our own strengths and weaknesses while appreciating the value and worth of others is a manifestation of inner strength and confidence. And this nicely demonstrates that we don't need to tear others down to feel good about ourselves. Being kind releases endorphins, which boosts our mood and reduces stress. Numerous studies have shown that acts of kindness can improve our mental and physical well-being. It also enhances our sense of purpose and fulfilment, contributing to overall happiness and satisfaction in life.

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Sense of humour

Illustration: Eva Bee ©

What are people really worried about?
The noise from outside makes us want to fit into the “container” and that stops us differentiating between what my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying, and this noise becomes your voice. Make people comfortable and at ease. I think happy people smile more, so it’s a good idea to laugh loudly and welcome humour with open arms. What it really comes down to is that we are not confident about what we have to offer, in other words, it’s a lack of self-awareness. Being insecure about our own abilities, for example, what am I good at? What are my passions? and what am I bringing to the table? Do not take yourself too seriously, show passion and ambition but not at a cost to others.

““Everyone in the world should achieve everything they ever wanted, and achieve everything they ever pursued, just to realise that it’s not the point.””

— Jim Carey

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The confidence gap

It’s not a weakness or character flaw to be wrong, make a mistake or change your mind. In fact, in areas of knowledge, technology and competition, it’s a mark of courage, character and flexibility to be willing to cut your loses quickly and practice the reality principle in everything you do. I think that once you say I was wrong or I made a mistake or I changed my mind, the issue is largely over. One must be prepared to deal with the world as it is rather than the way you wish it were or the way it might have been in the past. Face the truth whatever it is and be honest with yourself and everyone around you. Always be open to reevaluating your goals and objectives in the light of new information, technology, or competition.

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Focus on one small goal

The concept of Zorro Circles is a metaphor for how we can follow our ambitions and achieve our goals by tackling the challenges we face one by one. Gradually, as we become ready, we can complete what we set out to do. I think the basic idea behind the Zorro Circle is that we should limit the scope of our efforts to a small area and as we gain resources, knowledge, and confidence, we expand our circle of control. And embarrassment is a powerful motivator for improvement and the more public the embarrassment, the greater the motivation.

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Everything is an opportunity

The most successful people have a thirst for learning, developing and maintain a high level of skills. My daily mantra is: “I will learn from every interaction.” I think selling is a matter of constant and continuous error correction and learning. The best salespersons I know have confidence and are humble enough to accept that there is more that they don’t know than what they do know. Everything is an opportunity, every won deal, every lost deal, every interaction, every presentation is an opportunity to evaluate and learn then adjust and do it better next time.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

— Seneca

Sales has this weird paradox, for example, when you are in front of customers, they want you to be confident. When you are not in front of customers, you are pulling apart your interactions and generally behaving in an insecure way so that you can see the things that you should be seeing. This combination of confidence and confident vulnerability is the sweet spot where curiosity meet anxiety and is where you will fine tune your sales performance.

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Confidence is important

I think confidence builds competence and it helps us to continue to improve and move from “I know how” to “I’ll try” to “I am doing it.” A lack of confidence can hold people back from reaching their full potential. Without confidence we won’t overcome discouragement, disappointment and challenges, and we likely won’t practice. And if things don't work out at first, confidence helps us try again and directly contributes to a more positive attitude and expectancy which are contagious and can help those around us grow too.

“An artist is not paid for his labour but for his vision.”

— Burrellism

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Always be learning

Are you leading an organisations where there are islands of activity? Where finger pointing at who’s doing it wrong in sales, marketing, production or R&D is a common occurrence. It takes strong mental strength to step back and say what is the best thing that I can do as a team to build trust. Are you really spending enough time trying to understand what your team needs are or are you just feeding them information and data?

I think confidence is believing you are able, and competence is knowing you are able. Steve Jobs surrounded himself with A+ players, people who were smarter than himself because he wanted to learn, evolve, and grow. He put his faith in his people, not in technology, which for him was just tools that either worked or didn’t. He believed that people were basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them. What are you doing to move the needle forward?

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Confidence is a key leadership quality

c/o Getty Images

Regulating and balancing feelings of confidence requires considerable self-awareness and knowledge. I have seen really good salespeople lose confidence in their ability to sell simply because of a bad relationship with their boss. It’s normal to feel quite confident in some circumstances and less confident in others, this is influenced by past events and how we remember them. Over-confidence can make you take on projects that are beyond your capability, and you might not be able to complete them, so in the same way that you don’t want to lack confidence, you also don’t want to be over-confident. 

Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. Self-confidence comes from really feeling good about yourself, and one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is knowing that you did your best in every situation. This state is changeable according to the situation we are currently in and our responses to events going on around us. This knowledge will allow you to accept and trust yourself as you are and generate a sense of control in your life. On the other hand, low self-confidence might make you feel full of self-doubt, be passive or submissive, or have difficulty trusting others. 

Are you familiar with the “ACT” acronym?
A = Action, C = Changes and T = Things.
Individual mentoring can also help increase your self-confidence if you need more help contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting.

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Sales tips on Sunday

Sales persons need to always show up in the moment and when I say moment, I mean showing up in a positive and curious state of mind for the sales performance. Sales is the transference of emotion that the solutions you are selling makes sense for the buyer and in order to do this, you must arrive with clarity, confidence and courage. Here are a few sales tips below, please contact me via e-mail for real world strategies, sales training and workshops opportunities.

1. Learn how to sell yourself

2. Know your products and services

3. Show empathy for your customers situation

4. Believe what you are saying

5. Be open to feedback

6. Learn from master sales persons

7. Learn the psychology of sales

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