You can’t grow yourself until you know yourself, and self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It’s difficult to improve without understanding who you are and where you stand. Much of my own self-awareness came from people who cared enough to point out areas where I needed to make changes in my life. I’ve learned that self-awareness is a continuous process, one that requires regular reflection. I often ask myself, what am I optimising for? The answer can vary for everyone, and it shifts over time as our goals and priorities evolve. This is why it’s crucial to revisit this question periodically to remain aware of how you’ve changed and whether your current habits can carry you toward your desired future. Sometimes, the habits that served the “old you” won’t be enough for the “current you.” When what you’re optimising for shifts, your habits must shift too. I find it helpful to have a regular process of reflection and review to stay self-aware, identify changes, and adapt my habits to align with my evolving goals.
Building systems
A few weeks ago when I was in London, I heard this statement: “You don’t rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.” I thought it was time to take a deeper dive.
If you’re struggling to improve a situation, the issue isn’t you, it’s your system. Change doesn’t fail because we lack the desire to change; it fails because we’re working with the wrong system. We are often told to be more ambitious, set bigger goals, or think bigger. While thinking big has its place, setting a goal is actually the easy part. The hard part is building a system of behaviours that consistently move you toward that goal. A goal is simply a desired outcome, a target, and on the other hand, your system is the collection of daily habits you follow. I think if there’s ever a gap between your goal and your system, your daily habits will always win. By definition, your current habits are perfectly designed to deliver your current results.
Self talk is crucial
Paradigms can be thought of as mental programs that largely dictate our habitual behaviour, as most of our actions are driven by habits. Our brains constantly seek validation for our beliefs, a phenomenon known as confirmation bias. For instance, if you believe "nothing ever goes my way," your brain will highlight everything that confirms that belief. On the other hand, if you tell yourself, "I know things can get better," your brain will begin to find evidence to support this idea. Your mind is simply performing its function by actively searching for proof to reinforce the reality you've constructed in your thoughts. Therefore, I think it's crucial to remember that you have the power to influence the world around you through your mindset.
Elevate your career
What do you really want to do, and why do you want to do it?
I think to bridge the gap between your current position and your desired outcome, it's crucial to identify the reasons behind your inaction. Let's be honest about the possible barriers:
1) Fear
2) Limited belief in your capabilities
3) Feeling overwhelmed due to anger or resentment
4) Bad habits
5) Lack of skills
Contact me via e-mail to book a coaching course.
Financial choices
The concept of a wealth blueprint is grounded in a structured progression of steps, highlighting the interconnectedness of thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in achieving financial success. I think ideas lead to feelings, and feelings lead to actions, and subsequently actions lead to outcomes. And in order to achieve these goals, good behavioural habits will be required.
Talking about habits
I think these are crucial habits for a high-value person:
- Discipline
- Working out
- Making money
- Control over lust
- Strong eye contact
- Good body language
““People do not decide their futures; they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.””
Personal lesson
Rather than asking yourself what kind of outcome I want to achieve, ask yourself: “Who is the type of person that can do…?”
Start with a small habit, provide evidence of being that kind of person and then eventually you’ll have something to proof this new belief in. Fake it like you’ve made it means to believe in something that you don’t have evidence for, and the word we tend to use for this behaviour is delusion. Rather than letting the belief lead the way, let the behaviour lead the way. Don’t just fake it until you make it, just do the work to make it.
Changing your state
According to Charles Duhigg new habits are created by putting together a CUE, a ROUTINE, and a REWARD. James Clear agrees, and crucially adds a CRAVING which he believes drives the loop, e.g., Cue > Craving > Response > Reward. I think the CUE is often visual but in reality, can be any of the five senses. CRAVING is how you interpret the cue, and it can change depending on your current state. The RESPONSE is the action you take, and the REWARD is always some kind of consequence.
In cognitive psychology the internal states of moods, emotions, beliefs, and identity all effect your behaviour. How you interpret the “cues” should be added into the equation, and your interpretation definitely changes depending on your current state.
““Small differences in your performance can lead to large differences in your results.” ”
Internal states
To embark on this journey of self-evolution, it's wise to start with modest yet purposeful strides. Initiating small, intentional habits that resonate with the envisioned identity serves as a crucial foundation. Behaviours are tied to cues that precede them and they are reinforced by reward that comes after them. These deliberate actions stand as tangible proof of our commitment to the process. As we engage in these behaviours, we gradually accumulate a reservoir of evidence that we are actively morphing into the individual capable of materialising our aspirations.
The habit of gratitude
The more you educate yourself the more you understand where things come from, the more obvious things become, and you begin to see lies and deception everywhere. I think seeking and embracing the truth is essential for finding freedom. Developing a habit of gratitude, intentionally looking for and feeling grateful for life and the abundance around us. Staying in a state of gratitude and joy, is the best habit we can develop because in joy there is no room for worry.
The scoreboard never lies
I think systems are more powerful and effectiveness than goals. My ultimate aspiration is to maintain lifelong health, mobility, abundant energy, and endurance, enabling me to enjoy playing with my great grandchildren. To achieve this, I recognise the importance of establishing a set of disciplines to guide my actions. While goals are valuable for providing clarity on what needs to be accomplished, they only serve as a temporary guide. It's crucial to emphasise that the system or process we adopt is the key differentiating factor, and this system encompasses a collection of habits that support my long-term vision. Once I know the direction I'm heading, I can set the goals aside and focus on faithfully following the system. This is because achieving a goal might bring momentary satisfaction, but it's the consistent adherence to a well-designed system that leads to lasting and meaningful results.
If you fix the outcomes
Image c/o Linkedin
What are the habits behind the outcome?
When you focus on improving the outcomes you desire, your habits will naturally fall into place. I think the way you perceive yourself has a significant impact on your daily actions. As you encounter different experiences in life, the lens through which you view yourself affects how you interpret and respond to them. For a habit to truly endure over time, it must align with your core identity. When your actions are in harmony with your internal beliefs and values, you're more likely to sustain those habits in the long run. In essence, congruence between your actions and your identity plays a crucial role in fostering lasting habits.
Routines are necessary
What do top salespersons and elite athletes have in common?
Both salespersons and elite athletes require discipline, focus, and the ability to perform consistently at a high level. No matter where you go on earth, when you meet top salespersons regardless of the industry, they all have a routine. Most sales days are unstructured so if you don’t have a routine, it’s easy to drift off into things that are trivial or “important” but they make no impact and add no value. Perhaps, I’m biased because I come from the sports world, but I have observed regardless of where you are in the world, the one thing all elite athletes have in common is routine. They all have a routine that they stick to, whether it’s a practice routine, whether it’s a game routine, they all have a “go to” routine that they always stick to. I think routine helps to eliminate distractions, builds good habits and will increases your chances of achieving success.
Kicking a habit
I think developing a conviction to change is a crucial first step towards making lasting changes. This conviction can then transform into a strong determination to change, which will motivate you to make sustained efforts towards implementing that change. Take the example of quitting smoking - you need to be aware of the harmful effects of smoking, and then increase your awareness until you firmly believe in the need to quit. This conviction will further strengthen your determination to quit, and ultimately, you will need to make a conscious effort to establish new habits. In this context, education and learning play an important role as they can help you develop the conviction and commitment needed to make lasting changes.
Contact me via e-mail to book a meeting where we can anaylise your goals, objectives and results.
Small steps stick
When trying to make a change in your life, a too big a change is not sustainable. It’s far easier to make small, incremental changes and make them stick. It’s important to reframe change into a positive and stick to it. Try telling yourself that change isn’t a chore, improving isn’t a chore! It’s the stickability over time that makes us different.
When we feel good about ourselves, we are going to be happier, more engaged, and willing to make more changes. It’s not about what happens to us, it’s about how we deal with it. When people think about habit loops, they often have a reward at the end of it. It’s really important to think about the suffering, as I think change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of making a change.
Never admire quietly
Leadership is not a natural by-product of career progression, it’s a skill that takes time, patience, and practice. Mental toughness is often portrayed as determination and persistence, but it can also be viewed by your flexibility and adaptability. When you build a habit of appreciation and gratitude into all you do, you will see a positive impact on team members' motivation, idea generation, and enthusiasm. I think that when your employees feel valued, they are more likely to be more engaged and be satisfied in their work. Remember the best doers won’t always be the best leaders, and the best leaders won’t always be the best doers.
Habits change behaviours
We all have those habits we wish we didn’t, but just can’t seem to break. It can be a challenge, but with some time and effort, habits can be changed. Here is my list of powerful habits:
- Wake up early
- Practise gratitude
- Spend time with nature
- Choose right friends
- Deepen your relationships
- Know yourself better
- Be ok to say no
- Invest in yourself
- Test your limits
- Invest in experiences
- Diversify your income stream
Hard work pays off
Hard work is about risk. It begins when you deal with things that you would rather not deal with, for example, fear of failure, fear of standing out, fear of rejection. Hard work is about training yourself to leap over this barrier, drive through the other barrier and overcome whatever obstacle is placed in front of you. And after you’ve done that, to do it again the next day. I think the biggest influence in life is habit.
To get better results, adopt better habits. I ask myself everyday:
1. How will I create value for my customers?
2. And how will I make money doing so?
Talk is cheap
What are the changes we seek to make, in order to become the type of person we want to be?
There are a series of choices we have to make, and I think these choices are easier if we have habits. Habits get us results; goals are results! Having a goal that you are going to for example, go to lose weight does not tell me anything. Whereas having the goal to go to the gym every other day for 6 months and you are going to get as fit as a fiddle is a way more specific goal and is totally in your control.
The biggest influence in life is habit
Habits shape our attitudes, actions, and decision-making abilities, and they affect every aspect of our lives. Before we can build good habits, we need to understand what habits are and how they’re formed. We also need to know what mistakes we should avoid in the process as it’s easy to say, “to get better results, adopt better habits”.
Every single day I blog about a point of view, something I see, an assertion and this has rewired my brain. I’m continuously thinking about what I am going to say tomorrow. This act of public journaling is risk-free, all the rational parts of my brain know that nothing bad can happen. I can’t tell you precisely what narrative will help you undo your own narrative, but you are welcome to contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting.