coaching

The STOKERS model

The STOKERS model, adapted from Claire Pedrick of 3DCoaching.com, emphasises starting a coaching session with the end in mind. The term "stoker" originates from tandem cycling, where the stoker (the person at the back) provides power to the ride, while the captain (the person at the front) sets the direction. Similarly, in coaching, the coach provides structure and energy for the conversation, while the client determines its direction and focus.

The STOKERS model provides a simple framework for shaping coaching conversations:

  • Subject: What do we need to think about today?

  • Time: Given we have X minutes, what about that should we focus on?

  • Outcome: What would you like to be different by the end of our session?

  • Know: How will you know you’ve achieved what you needed from this time?

  • Essence: What makes this meaningful or important? What is at the heart of this issue?

  • Role: How should we approach this together?

  • Start: Where shall we begin?

This model helps create clarity and momentum, ensuring both coach and client stay aligned and purposeful throughout the session.

Fighting the war within

Everyone is fighting an internal battle, whether it’s in their relationships, mental health, or finances. That’s why showing a little more compassion every day is so important as we rarely know what others are going through. It’s easy to be critical or judgmental, especially when someone has different political views, opinions, or even behaves rudely. I think choosing kindness may make a bigger difference than we realise.

““Do not assume you’re smarter simply because you’re older.” ”
— Rastafarian Movement

Moving the needle

I work with leaders and senior executives to help them effectively lead employees from marginalized and underrepresented backgrounds. My approach is not about quick fixes or performances, it's about authenticity, connection, and transformation. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been deeply curious about people. This curiosity has shaped my career in learning and development, from consulting on DEI initiatives to coaching leaders. My goal has always been to create meaningful impact.

As a coach, I provide a safe space for leaders to take off their masks and share what’s truly on their minds,without fear of judgment. It’s in these honest conversations that real growth happens. If you’re ready to deepen your understanding, embrace inclusion, and create a workplace where every team member feels seen and valued, let’s talk. Contact me via email for a confidential meeting. Together, we can build stronger, more connected teams and lead the change that matters.

Kindness is the answer

My goal is to work with leaders and senior executives, helping them lead employees from marginalised and underrepresented backgrounds. Curiosity about people has shaped my life, and I create deep connections because I care about learning and understanding the people I work with. I’ve been fortunate to work in learning and development, consulting, implementing DEI initiatives, and coaching. I create a safe space where individuals can remove their masks, speak from the heart, and trust that I will never judge them. Contact me via email for a confidential meeting.

Supporting skills

Human beings naturally seek to understand their social status in relation to others. I think acknowledgement and recognition are powerful tools for enhancing status and fostering supportive behaviour. However, when people are uncertain about what to expect, they tend to become defensive. To create a sense of safety, it’s important to provide clarity about what they will experience. When coaching, understanding my own behavioural patterns helps me relate more effectively to my clients.

Myth busters

Here are three key myths busted:

  1. Coaching is about growth and performance, not problem-solving. It’s designed to help you reach your potential, not to address issues.

  2. Coaching is often mistaken for consulting or mentoring. The difference is in the approach: consulting and mentoring rely on external expertise, while coaching helps you tap into your own insights as the expert in your journey.

  3. Coaching is confidential, even when it's sponsored by your employer.

Let's have a meeting

I work with C-suite executives, business owners, and senior managers to unlock their full potential. I think meaningful change starts with transforming the way we think. To act differently and develop new behaviours, we first need to shift our thoughts. Rather than teaching new skills, I help my clients recognise and leverage the abilities they already possess. By gaining new perspectives, they can use these skills in more effective ways. My approach focuses on enhancing self-awareness, clarifying goals, and developing leadership and management skills, equipping my clients with the tools to solve their challenges confidently and effectively.
Interested? Contact me via email and let’s have a meeting.

Everyone can be better

The core model of coaching focuses on raising awareness and setting clear, positive goals. To do this effectively, it is crucial to establish a genuine connection with the client, demonstrating care for both the client and the process we are engaged in. A key responsibility of the coach is to help the client gain clarity—about what they want, their current situation, their goals, and the factors that will support them throughout the process. Curiosity is a powerful motivator for a coach; being genuinely curious about the client’s journey enhances your ability to guide and support them effectively.

 

Challenging the client’s thoughts and holding them accountable as they make progress is also essential. Confidence in the coaching process, belief in the client’s potential, and a guarantee of confidentiality are all critical to a successful coaching relationship. Both the coach and the client must be committed to the process and the desired outcomes. With this foundation, not only can clear goals be set, but they can also be achieved.

Let's ask questions

Coaching focuses on asking impactful questions rather than knowing all the answers. The strength of these questions comes from intentional preparation, but it’s essential for coaches to avoid overpreparing and relying on an overload of information. Instead, they need to be guided by genuine curiosity to uncover the client’s unique worldview. I aim to understand the coachees perspective before jumping in with solutions, using curiosity-driven questions to foster meaningful exploration and breakthroughs.

I think simplifying coaching by prioritising humanity and curiosity will create transformational change. Identifying clear outcomes helps guide coachees through initial steps toward their goals, considering the wider influence coaching can have on their surroundings. I also think by focusing on understanding and thoughtful inquiry, coaches can amplify their impact, empowering clients effectively.

Powerful reinforcements

Beliefs, whether based on fact or fiction, are human inventions that help us make sense of ourselves and the world. Neuroscience research demonstrates that training and positive reinforcement can change people’s minds and behaviours. When we tell people what to do, we engage only their short-term cognitive memory, and as a result, they often forget much of the information, and it rarely leads to meaningful behavioural change. For instance, consider how many things you know you should be doing but haven’t acted on. Knowledge alone doesn’t transform our perception of ourselves or the world. Coaching is different. It facilitates long-term behavioural change by helping the brain rewire. I think as a person’s neural pathways evolve, their self-image and worldview shift, which in turn drives new behaviours. This lasting transformation is something that simple instructions cannot achieve.

““It’s hard to learn when you already know.””
— Amy Edmondson

New pathways

People vary in their level of coachability, so when clients come to me, I look for any sign of willingness. While it’s great when someone is enthusiastic about learning and growth, that isn’t always the case. Coaching provides a safe space where people can fully be themselves, allowing them to see through the fog of fear, doubt, and anger. Through meaningful conversations, clients discover new pathways to achieve their goals. In essence, coaching is often less about behaviour change and more about identity, exploring who someone believes they are and who they aspire to become.

When working with leaders, my approach revolves around a single guiding question:

  • “Is there one thing you’d like to improve or enhance that we could work on together?”

  • “Would you be open to learning just one new thing that could make you better?”

  • “Can you think of one area where you’d really appreciate some support in developing?”

Once clients identify that one thing and experience the benefits of coaching, they often become more open to the process. They realise how valuable coaching is and that it never makes them feel inadequate.

““Where we have strong emotions, we’re liable to fool ourselves.””
— Carl Sagan

The pursuit of happiness

I had a thought-provoking conversation with a friend recently. She asked me about the top five qualities I admire in the people I most enjoy supporting. My answer was clear: they are exceptional at creatively solving problems, prioritise people, make a significant impact in Denmark, and are driven by a strong mission.

Then, she challenged me: Who exemplifies these qualities more than anyone you know? You immediately came to mind. Would you be open to a quick 10-minute call to catch up? Alternatively, we could schedule a 15-minute discovery session, where I'll ask five questions to get a sense of where you are in your professional journey. If you read this post, send me an email for a confidential discovery meeting.

One plus one in not always two

I always hold a discovery session with each client and during these session’s I ask questions like:

  • Where do you come from?

  • What’s it like in your world?

  • Who are you?

  • What traditions and values are important to you?

  • What might be holding you back?

I think it’s important to understand their cultural background and values. While we may never fully understand someone else’s culture, we can approach it with genuine curiosity and empathy, inviting clients to bring their whole selves into the conversation.

Support your clients

Stay curious about who your clients are and what truly matters to them. It’s important to enter a space of openness, journeying together to explore what it’s like to live their experiences. By building a foundation of trust and rapport, you can support your clients on a path of self-discovery, reflection, and transformation, helping them trust in new experiences and outcomes.

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Using reflective inquiry

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Have you ever thought about the role culture plays in coaching?

As a coach who was born and raised in London with Jamaican heritage, I developed a deep appreciation for cross-cultural understanding and respect from birth. This background has shaped how I approach my sessions, with both curiosity and an open mind. I’m always focused on what’s most important to my clients, often asking, “What can we bring into this session to support your journey of deep reflection?” I encourage clients to incorporate any cultural or traditional elements that help them feel more connected and grounded to ensure each conversation is a powerful and meaningful experience.

Are we better off?

c/o LinkedIn

One of the most remarkable things about the human brain is its ability to process the same situation in multiple ways. In contrast, mathematical models are not capable of this flexibility. These models, particularly those related to time and algorithms, inherently assume that faster is always better. In his 2013 book, “Social Acceleration: A New Theory of Modernity”, Hartmut Rosa traces the origins of social acceleration back to the Industrial Revolution. This acceleration, however, has contributed to our collective discontent. With an overwhelming increase in choices, we no longer feel we can fully achieve everything we desire. This relentless pace and the explosion of options have left us feeling perpetually unsatisfied or under-optimised.

If you're seeking clarity in this fast-paced world, book a confidential 30-minute discovery call with me via email to explore how you can optimise your leadership and career trajectory.

Unlocking the potential

How do we guide clients to realise their inner potential?
There's greatness inside each one of our clients, and it’s our role is to help them shine in all areas of their lives. The beauty of the human journey lies in its imperfection, and it is this imperfection that gives rise to true beauty. I think ultimately, coaching is not about the coach; it’s all about the client. It’s about partnering with them on their journey toward a meaningful destination, a destination that aligns with their destiny.

Questions are the key

When was the last time a question changed your life? When was the last time a single word made a profound impact? I think words carry immense power and life and death are in the tongue. As coaches, how we speak to ourselves and what we say to our clients truly matters. Our clients look to us as beacons of hope, a place where they can authentically be themselves and where possibilities are ignited. It’s vital to help our clients recognise the greatness within them.

Machine learning vs. human

The future of coaching is likely to be influenced by the rise of AI and automation. Imagine AI taking the lead in a coaching session, asking questions like, "What's on your mind?" or "You spoke about this two weeks ago, but what feels like the real challenge here for you?" With enough context, AI could analyse conversations, follow decision trees, and offer thoughtful prompts like, "What else?" repeatedly, drawing out deeper insights. This kind of interaction could effectively simulate human coaching, potentially achieving similar outcomes a significant portion of the time. As a coach, this raises an important question: Where do you offer unique value in the coaching experience that someone can't get from chatting with their AI assistant?

Enjoy the process

Coaching conversations have the power to change lives, one session at a time. I think that transformation occurs after each interaction. As a coach, my role is to guide clients closer to their goals by helping them turn setbacks into comebacks and disappointments into opportunities for growth. The insights and lessons we gather along the way are valuable tools that support clients throughout their journey. If you are ready to explore how coaching can help you, contact me via email to schedule a free 30-minute discovery meeting.