When coaching, I support the coachee as they brainstorm their options. To ensure all possibilities are considered, I find it helpful to use the six Ws:
Who
What
When
Where
Why
How
Never break the silence
The STOKeRS Model is new to me, so I did a little research and found out that it’s a coaching framework designed to facilitate effective conversations, particularly during the goal-setting phase of coaching sessions. Developed by Claire Pedrick, this model helps coaches ensure that key elements are covered during their interactions with clients.
• Subject – What should we focus on today?
• Time – Given we have “X” minutes today, what about that do we need to focus on?
• Outcome – What would you like to be different at the end of our time together?
• Know – How will you know you have got what you need out of this time?
• Role – How are we going to do this?
• Start – Where shall we start?
Fine-tuning our minds
The words you use to frame your current situation will change your mindset and elevate your mood. A positive mindset allows you to stay open to new possibilities where others see barriers, and a positive mood will lift your spirits and attract people in your life who will help, support, or hire you. I think successful individuals in any field used positive words to frame an outcome. It's an imperfect world, and despite hours of practice and years of experience, the ball won't always bounce your way, you'll be dealt a bad hand, or an unprecedented pandemic will shift your plans.
““We dance round in a ring and suppose,
But the secret sits in the middle and knows.””
Learning about yourself
Insights about yourself or the situation at hand lead to actions and behavior changes. Positive behavior changes create an impact, which in turn generates new insights and awareness, perpetuating the cycle. When coaching one has to park our ego and let our coachees' achievements shine, amplifying their successes. I think it’s important to find the right balance between helping others and helping yourself.
““A rising tide lifts all boats.””
Tailor-made solutions
Our tailor-made coaching for performance solutions aim to foster a culture of respect and inclusivity, which effectively enhances teamwork, communication, and productivity. Research has shown that creating a positive work environment boosts productivity, promotes teamwork, reduces turnover rates, and improves employee satisfaction. By investing in coaching for performance, you can help your employees develop the skills they need to perform at their best and contribute to the overall success of your company. Contact me via email for a free 30-minute discovery call.
““Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.” ”
Supporting your dreams
There are countless definitions of coaching, each offered by the thousands of coaches out there. It's important to hold off on giving advice and maintain curiosity for a bit longer, as new initiatives often meet resistance. I think anything worthwhile will encounter obstacles and pushback, and organisational change can be particularly daunting. Remember, pushback isn't personal; it's simply a systemic reaction to the changes taking place.
““As with any new skill, attitude, style, or belief, adopting a coaching ethos requires commitment, practice, and some time before it flows naturally and its effectiveness is optimised.””
Goal setting model
Here is the S.M.A.R.T goals definition breakdown:
Specific – Clearly defined and focused.
Measurable – Quantifiable criteria to track progress.
Achievable – Realistic and within current capabilities.
Relevant – Aligns with broader goals and is meaningful.
Time-bound – Specific timeframe for completion.
A better understanding
I think an act of curiosity is an act of vulnerability, and true empowerment means stepping away from power and the spotlight to let others realise their potential, rather than solving the problem for them. Share your story, preserve its integrity, and control its narrative.
““The harm is in the unwanted help or helping them when they need to figure things out for themselves. Help is the sunny side of control.””
Do you know the difference?
What are the distinctions between a role-model, mentor, coach and sponsor?
- A role model is someone you look up to and aspire emulate, even though you may never have met them in person.
- A mentor is your guide by your side who supports your career development, offering advice on potential paths and obstacles. Mentors are typically volunteers and commit to your growth over time.
- A coach is short-term advisor who helps you to develop specific skills, for example, I have some executive coaching clients who come to me when they need guidance with executive presence or imposter syndrome. Coaches are usually paid professionals focused on targeted improvements for their clients (coachees)
- A sponsor is someone who mentions your name in the rooms that you may not be in, for example, they could be recommending you for choice assignments, projects, jobs, or awards. Sponsors leverage their reputation to support your advancement.
I hope this clarifies any confusion you may have about the difference between role models, mentors, coaches and sponsors.
Curiosity killed the cat
Can you stay curious a little bit longer?
Curiosity is perhaps the most important strength we have as human beings. How can we ensure that we stay curious, empowering our leaders, our colleagues, our employees, and our employers? I think it’s important not to rush to advice giving or action - take things a little more slowly. Try asking the question, "And what else?" as it’s a way to encourage deeper thinking and exploration, allowing for a more thoughtful discussion.
““Why are we obsessed with energy when we should be obsessed with the brain”.”
Hold your space
We often think that we add value by leaping in and giving advice. We don't even think about it because we've been taught that as soon as someone starts talking, a part of our brain goes: 'Let me interrupt them and tell them the answer.' However, even when you have the right answer, you have to ask yourself what the appropriate leadership act is. I've learned to hold my space and allow others to figure things out for themselves. Don't give them the answer, even when you know it.
Beautiful distinction
Feeling insecure or doubting yourself can differ from doubting your work. In his book “The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter & Miracles,” Bruce Lipton highlights the distinction between the conscious and subconscious mind. He explains that 95% of our lives are driven by subconscious patterns. I think that while we can easily recognise these patterns in others, identifying them in ourselves is much more challenging.
““Insecurity is only a hindrance when it stops you sharing what’s in your heart.””
Invisible coach
How do you help leaders and senior executives to be themselves if they don’t know who they really are?
Sometimes leaders and senior executives express an uncertainty about their true identity, yet they reveal it unconsciously during our conversations. In my 1:1 sessions, I reflect their thoughts back to them, and often, it suddenly “lights up” for me while they remain unaware. When you truly listen, people disclose their needs, desires, dreams, and fears. They simultaneously claim they don’t know what they want or need, nor who they really are. I think often, people are too close to their own lives to see themselves clearly as it’s challenging to view oneself from one’s own perspective. Contact me via email to book a free 30 minute discovery meeting.
A snippet from a coaching session
Here’s a sneak preview of some of the questions I ask in my leadership development coaching sessions:
1. What will my team hold me accountable for?
2. What are the goals I have for my team?
3. How do they make decisions?
4. How do they resolve conflicts?
5. What are my personal goals as a leader?
6. How will I get results in those areas?
Contact me via e-mail to arrange a discovery meeting.
““Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” ”
Engage in profound dialogues
All my mentoring and coaching sessions are about real-life issues, they are not about entertainment and my friends who I have spent any significant time with, are typically ones where I can have meaningful conversations. It's a transformative journey where individuals gradually find solace in vulnerability, reaching a stage where openness becomes the norm. I think we all have the capacity to be authentic and empathetic, unfortunately, too many people hide their compassion for others. Why? Perhaps out of fear or societal pressures.
Our ability to navigate challenges
Things outside of you will not fix things inside of you if the things inside of you are broken. It’s a fallacy that achieving something outside of yourself will make you happy. For example, consider the story of Jan, who spent years chasing material success, believing it would bring him fulfilment. However, despite achieving great professional acclaim and wealth, he found himself plagued by a deep sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. All of our problems come from within, but we persistently attribute them to external circumstances and biases. Even though I think it’s time to accept responsibility for our internal state and recognise that true happiness stems from within, independent of external achievements or circumstances. It’s important to highlight that internal factors, such as cognitive biases, emotional regulation, coping strategies, etc., all play a crucial role in how individuals perceive and respond to external circumstances, and this is supported by research in both cognitive and positive psychology. There are also external factors that can play significant roles in shaping individuals' experiences and challenges, for example, systemic injustices, environmental influences, and interpersonal relationships.
Strengthen your resources
Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey and make a positive change in your life?
A coach can help you with everything from career sparring to habit and lifestyle changes, offering invaluable support in various aspects of your personal and professional growth. From refining your career path to positive habits and lifestyle changes, a coach will provide expert advice and unwavering guidance towards your goals. With a coach by your side, the possibilities for positive transformation are endless! Contact me here, or via e-mail to arrange a confidential meeting.
Increasing awareness
Since my school days, I have been passionate about nurturing people's development. And as a leader, I've always been mindful of this, always thinking, 'How can I empower and encourage my employees to reach their fullest potential?' I think that it's not solely about their performance but also about their personal growth, and I use coaching tools to enhance their development efficiently. And there is also the self-awareness dimension which is crucial, as this is where I not only learn more about myself but also continue to evolve and grow.
This is revealing
Can you see your own blind spots?
The very notion of a blind spot means that we cannot see it ourselves, therefore, we often need an external perspective to identify them. For example, a trusted advisor, mentor or coach, somebody who can show us another set of lenses and partnerships are crucial to this journey as it’s really difficult to do this all on your own. A simple mathematics analogy, there are adders and subtracters, there are multipliers and dividers, and they are all around us - What do these people look like to you? What do you look like to them? What kind of energy are you bringing and what type of energy are you receiving? These types of journeys are much easier to take together in partnership with a coach or mentor, there is no recipe and there will be challenges along the journey. I do not have ‘a just do this solution’ as everyone is different.
As a coach I offer guidance, skill development, and accountability. Are you ready to look at your blind spots? Contact me via email arrange a short discovery meeting when you are ready for unbiased feedback,
Professional growth through coaching
I think coaching is such a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. By offering insights, experiences, and constructive feedback, coaches can guide coachees toward their goals and help them unlock their full potential. Here’s an example of constructive feedback…
Every leader should ask themselves these questions on a daily basis:
What did I do badly?
What did I do well?
What can I do differently tomorrow?