One could define your values as the standards of behaviour and the ways of doing things that you think are correct in the ways you live and work. When your actions and decisions align with your values then you will demonstrate to others that you have integrity. You become a good role model and experience peace of mind because you are confident that you are doing the right thing. When you act in a way that goes against your values then you will feel unhappy and bad about yourself. You may also make mistakes and find yourself acting unethically.
I’m sure that that you have noticed that different people have different values, and these often determine the things they do in life. It’s not hard to make a decision when you know what your values are - do you know what your values are? Contact me via e-mail and let’s have a conversation.
Say thank you
I believe the easiest path to transformation is by embracing everyday life with openness and gratitude. You can start on the path wherever you are. Everyone is in the position to say that this situation is difficult but I am grateful for having a higher self that can find a solution. By simply acknowledging this path, you can transform any experience from darkness to light. Just think of it like having a torch in a dark forest, where the only thing that matters is the next step that you see ahead of you.
How should you live life when you are on this path?
It’s easy to feel grateful when life is going well, yet not everyday is like that! Most days are a mixture of negative and positive situations, emotions and feedback at home and work. I think that we only need two tools on the path: knowledge and experience. Knowledge gives you the vision of the bigger picture that you can trust, and experience validates that the experience is true. When we achieve even more knowledge and experience, complaints are transformed into light and wonder, and gloom changes to joy. This acknowledgement that you are being guided by the light inside of you is the beginning of the journey. I think that to be in the light, you must open yourself to it and this is fundamentally different from constantly struggling against the darkness.
Self Help
c/o The Telegraph
Everybody is talking about Matt Haig’s book, “The Midnight Library”. I think that his book “Notes on a Nervous Planet” is a masterpiece as it offers a personal look at how to feel happy and stay human in the twenty-first century.
On New Years Day, Matt posted on his Instagram feed a “Self Help” guide, it’s simple and easy top follow:
1. How to stop time: KISS
2. How to travel in time: READ
3. How to escape in time: MUSIC
4. How to feel time: WRITE
5. How to release time: BREATHE
Hello 2021
Just because I’m a Londoner, it does not mean that I know what is going to happen with Brexit. The continuation of the global pandemic restrictions means that life has thrown up another challenge and part of our own personal growth and self-responsibility is to be able to meet those challenges and rise above them. And the elephant in the room is climate change…
Here’s a little advice to myself, which may also be relevant for you:
Be a good person and do not waste energy trying to prove it, and continue to focus on the things that are within your power to change.
As we are entering the last days of 2020, I think it’s time to offer some “friendly” advice…
Don't be impressed by:
1. Money
2. Job titles
3. Appearances
4. Experience
5. Affiliations
6. Imitations
7. Big words
Be impressed by:
1. Kindness
2. Trustworthiness
3. Unselfish generosity
4. Humility
5. Good manners
6. Courage to dare, dream and do
7. Integrity and benevolence
You have a choice
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Viktor Frankl”
Hope is not a strategy
I encourage my family, friends and colleagues to be good persons and not waste too much energy trying to prove it.
I encourage my family, friends and colleagues to go where they are appreciated and not where they are just tolerated.
I think our life purpose would be greatly enhanced when we know why we are getting up in the morning.
I encourage you to ask yourself these three questions everyday:
- Why are you working hard?
- Why do you want to succeed?
- Why do you want to win?
Say Thank You!
The path to transformation is by embracing life everyday with openness. You can start on the path wherever you are, everyone is in the position to say that this situation is difficult but I am grateful for having a higher self that can find a solution. Acknowledging this path can transform any experience from darkness to light. It’s like having a torch in a dark forest where the only thing that matters is the next step that you see ahead of you.
How should you live life when you are on this path? It’s easy to feel grateful when life is going well, yet not everyday is like that! Most days are a mixture of negative and positive situations, emotions and feedback at home and work. I think that we only need two tools on the path: knowledge and experience. Knowledge gives you the vision of the bigger picture that you can trust, and experience validates that the experience is true. When we achieve even more knowledge and experience - complaints are transformed into light and wonder and gloom changes to joy. This acknowledgement that you are being guided by the light inside of you is the beginning of the journey.
Dark vs. light; good vs. bad; us vs. them, whoever them happens to be!
Getting beyond these opposites is important, not that you should give up and let the darkness creep in but so you stop being stuck in conflict. To be in the light, you must open yourself to it, which is different from constantly struggling against the darkness. Contact me via e-mail when you are ready to take a deeper dive into this arena.
Look over your shoulder
I had never met an owner who was not content if your team increased revenue, reduced expenditure and grew customer satisfaction, until I came to Denmark.
Dear Managers,
Your job is not to make people work harder. Your responsibility to help your team achieve their goals, let them know that their work matters and then recognize and reward those who consistently help the team deliver timely, high quality and positive outcomes. Please contact me via E: sb@stephenburrell.com, if would like any guidance further clarification on these matters.
Yours faithfully
Stephen Burrell
Thoughts on Thursday
““When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell ”
"The Guest House"
Another one of my favourite poems is “The Guest House” by Rumi (13th century Persian poet). Rumi speaks about treating all our experiences, whether good or bad as honoured guests. Welcome and entertain them all, even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep our house of its furniture, still treat each guest honourably. Perhaps, this is clearing us out for a new delightful adventure.
“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
Happiness is a choice
Always be kind
When you win, be kind.
When you are stuck, be kind.
When you are upset, be kind.
When you are scared, be kind.
When you are ignored, be kind.
When you are in doubt, be kind.
When you are disappointed, be kind.
I think you should always be kind, even when no one is looking.
Start with the heart
Getty Images
I recently asked a friend of mine who happens to be a medical doctor, “Who is in charge, the heart or the brain?” He said, the brain and I said, “I am going to challenge you on that one! You can find many people in the hospital who are still alive - clinically brain dead, but when the heart stops, it’s all over.”
I think that if we look metaphorically at the brain and head, then the brain is mental and the heart is emotional. And if we put them together in harmony, we will have the mental and the emotional - one starts with “M” and the other with “E”, when we put them together we have “ME” and nobody can mess with “ME”.
Quote of the day
Reality check
Don’t count on someone coming to rescue you.
Don’t count on someone to give you big breaks.
Don’t count on someone standing up for you.
You have to do these things for yourself.
Happiness is not a strategy
You Know What I Mean
We currently live in an information-rich, time-poor world and as a result, it is easy for us to behave like rats - in other words, we see an opportunity (stimulus) and we jump at it (response). The great thing about being human (aside from our ability to use a TV remote) is that we can exercise choice. So unlike one of B.F. Skinner's rats, our behavioral equation is Stimulus > Choice > Response.
The challenge is that sometimes we move so fast we whoosh right past our choice and feel like we are simply reacting to the multitude of stimuli - demanding customers, boss' deadlines, screaming children, "you've got mail" notifications, web page pop-up ads, Facebook status changes, GPS voices telling us to "veer right", text tones on our phones, etc. So, to help you intentionally respond to inbound opportunities and requests, here are four useful questions:
Does it interest me?
Do I have the resources (skills, money, contacts, knowledge) to make a positive impact?
Do I have the time (our most precious resource) for it?
Can I make the personal commitment necessary to be successful or fulfill the demands?
These questions reveal a thought process that highly successful people use to live intentionally. They never lose sight of the "C" - choice.
The choice is ours. Our success can be accidental or intentional. Choose to live intentionally.
Facts on Friday
This quote from Alfred D’Sousa has always been a favourite of mine: “For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life”.
I think ife and work will always be messy, therefore, trouble shooting, firefighting and problem solving are how we spend a lot of our time so, let’s make sure we enjoy it.
Remember “Happiness is a journey not a destination and complaining is not a strategy.”
Motivation on Monday
If you love someone, tell them now.
If you miss someone, connect with them.
If you appreciate someone, show them.
If you made a mistake, apologise.
If you want to feel lighter, forgive first.
If you are confused, ask more questions.
If you are stuck, ask others for help.