What game are you playing?
There is a distinction between seeking to have the right answer and building the capacity to generate the right answer, one is a short-term win and the other has a much longer shelf life. I think passing down wisdom, especially through oral history, is vital for preserving culture, maintaining and transmitting identity, values, and traditions. It allows us to learn from the past, offering lessons from previous generations' experiences while using historical insights to address modern challenges innovatively. Wisdom sharing also strengthens community bonds by fostering common narratives and understanding.
Leading with wisdom
Average leaders are effective at accomplishing tasks, while exceptional leaders excel in establishing environments conducive to others' success. I think that average leaders focus on solving immediate issues, whereas exceptional leaders concentrate on fostering growth as they bear the responsibility of cultivating a culture that empowers individuals to contribute their best. It's amazing how productivity, morale, and mutual respect increase when team members hold each other in high regard, and this contributes to stronger interpersonal relationships. Wise leadership derives from the pursuit of diverse perspectives, embracing open listening without defensiveness, and leveraging knowledge for the collective benefit rather than personal gain. What type of leader are you?
What now?
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A wise man once told me: “Be careful who you let on your ship, because some people will sink the whole ship just because they can’t be the captain.” Based on what you now know, is this the best course of action? If not, what else could you do? Here’s a few tips on how to improve social skills:
1. Say 'Thank you'
2. Say 'Please'
3. Listen without interrupting
4. Do not brag
5. Wait your turn
6. Choose kind over clever
7. Hold doors open longer
8. Forgive first
9. Talk less, but say more
10. Show gratitude
11. Do not respond to negativity
12. Be humble
Managing your emotions
Behave with emotional intelligence by acknowledging your feelings and thoughts, demonstrate healthy optimism, humility, and kindness, and only focus on what you can control. Sometimes we diminish our life experience and success by trusting our mind to solve everything. In reality, our intuition takes in way more information than our intellectual mind can process. This is why I think the wisest leaders rely on their mind, heart and experience.
Detachment yields objectivity
How come I can give valuable advice to others and not follow it myself?
You're probably aware of how easy it is to give good advice to others and how hard it is to know what to do about your own problems. One's ability to reason more sensibly about someone else's problems than one's own is known in psychology as Solomon's Paradox. I think people may show wisdom regarding others’ life problems while being stuck in their problems; Solomon’s sound general wisdom helped him deal with others’ life problems effectively, but he lacked the personal wisdom to live his own life well. The stories of Solomon and the perspectives offered by research suggest that Solomon’s paradox may represent a fundamental and widespread social cognitive bias. So the next time when you are trying to help yourself, imagine you are helping a friend.
This is not a dress rehearsal
“The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity to sacrifice. Ironically, their values make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed.”
If not for you, then who?
A few weeks ago my father said to me that I am much smarter than my bank balance indicates. My first question was why isn’t it bigger?
And he said, “You don’t have enough reasons, you have enough intelligence but you don’t have enough reasons.”
This made me stand up and go for a walk, and during my walk I realised that reasons can change your life - reasons come first and answers come second. You don’t get the answers to do well until you get the reasons. My father explained that reasons altered his whole life and sometimes it’s those little reasons that will alter your life.
Life has a mysterious way of hanging onto all the reasons and only gives them up to the people who are inspired by reasons. So, in other words reasons makes a difference as to how your life works out. What are some of the reasons for doing well? Personal, recognition, family, respect and the way it makes you feel. I love the feeling of being a winner and now I understand is all you need is a reason! Would you like to get yourself a list of reasons so that you never lack inspiration? You may not get all the answers straight away, but you will get the answers if you can get the reasons. I have some mentoring openings available from September, contact me via e-mail for an appointment.
Rome wasn't built in a day
“People take different roads seeking fulfilment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. ”
Life = C+C+C
The pandemic has exposed and increased inequality worldwide, leaving many to struggle for a basic level of economic security. Many people, myself included, have begun to reevaluate what makes life worth living. The things I’ve missed and appreciated the most are friends, family, experiences, nature, connection. I really hope that people have gained new values, and used this time to stop and think about the meaning of life. And ask themselves about what they would like to achieve both personally and professionally. What do you want to do with your life?
I recently lost my mother and whilst writing both her obituary and eulogy, I questioned myself about the meaning of life. In her honour, I have already begun to make changes in my life, for example, saying no and being far more selective about how I spend my time and with whom. I think that we all have the ability to transcend our egos, connect with other people and contribute to society.
Doing things in a calm and confident way
““The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” - James Allen”
It's all about discovery
Nowadays, we are living in a moment in history where compromise is a dirty word, and everything seems to be about conflict and blame. The old phase, “my way or the highway” appears more prevalent than ever and I for one would like to get more people to face up to their own hypocrisy. Day after day I am trying to live up to the basic human responses - honesty, empathy, courtesy, patience and goodwill.
I know that the best strategies mean nothing if you don’t have the resources to execute them, fortunately, when it comes to myself - I am more than capable. I am analytical and “even” Stephen because of my balance. Some would say that I am skeptical of convention and pretence, others would say that I am wise, funny and gracious.
What are my priorities today? And, how will I be of service today? These are far more valid daily questions than worrying about what people think of you.
A Little About The Way I Think
1) I spend my time listening and making others feel special rather than telling them how great I am.
2) I understand that relationships are built on trust, and trust takes time to develop.
3) I think that the best way to differentiate is to be honest, caring and hardworking.
4) I usually identify areas of shared interest and create opportunities for everyone to be a winner.
5) I provide encouragement, show concern, listen with interest and instill a strong set of values.
6) I always treat my clients with dignity and respect.