Follow the leader

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I think leadership is the mixture of presence and stature that can inspire energy, dedication and purpose in others. Leadership can be learned! Especially if you treat people with respect and learn how you can make certain that people are achieving the right goals, doing it the right way and getting the assistance that they need.


When was the last time your leader asked you:
a) What can I do better?
b) What can I do better to help you?
c) What can I do better to help the organisation?

Passion vs. purpose

Morten Hansen’s book, “Great at Work”, talks about the ways you can be more productive at work. It brings data from a 5 year research project that reveals why some people in a variety of industries are more productive. I think when you have a strong sense of purpose and a passion about the contributions you make to the world is when you are most dedicated. You will work better, you will pay more attention to what you are doing and everything you do is just better, and this will subsequently lead to great performances.

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Purpose and passion are not the same. Passion is “do what you love,” while purpose is “do what contributes. Purpose asks, “What can I give the world?” Passion asks, “What can the world give me?”
— Morten Hansen

Self reflection

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As transparency rises in society, particularly in the business world, there will be more and more open feedback demanded about leadership performance. Knowing how to lead yourself means knowing the answers to the following questions:

  • What is my purpose in this work?

  • What motivates and demotivates me?

  • What are my values and how am I honouring them in my work?

  • What are my strengths and weaknesses, and how am I working on them?

  • How do I overcome challenges and re-energise?

  • What do I tend to resist or ignore?

Your answers may change over time, but they are worth reflecting on if you are serious about remaining a leader. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting.


The customer is the hero

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Many companies position there marketing around benefits and features of their product or service, but how can they make the customer the hero of their story? By making the customer the hero and communicating in a way that demonstrates empathy for the customer is most powerful in the long run. I think that it’s best to focus on strategic outcomes that your customer needs. Not talking about yourself, your services or offerings as it loses people, because it makes you the star of the story and this in turn makes the client not the star of the story!


We all wake up self identifying as heroes in stories. If I am a hero and meet you at a dinner party and you tell me about yourself my subconscious begins to process you as a hero as well. And sometimes we subconsciously believe that there is scarcity of resources, so if you are the hero and I am a hero - Who’s the best? In reality, you should be stepping aside as the client is looking for someone to help with their story. It’s OK that another character comes into the story and their purpose is to help the hero win type day. I don’t want to be the hero in your story, I just want your business to succeed - I want to be the character that exists to help the hero win. I’m actually here to help them have success and the client is the star of the story. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting or workshop about how to include your customers in your storytelling.


Your story is your core

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The story creates the context that you build your business around, your story is your rocket fuel and your story is also about you. A great storyteller can guide a listener to their truth and the vision for the next step they need to take. When you have this story at the core of what you are doing, it starts solidifying and making everything easier in your business. Your story is going to influence your copywriting, web design, emails and social media posts. You need the right story to be able to attract the right customers therefore, you need to start by looking at who your story is for and why it is interesting for them.

A great storyteller can guide a listener to their truth and the vision for the next step they need to take. By asking good open ended questions and listening to your client, you can guide them to their own truth and this is what creates lasting results. You want to get to a point where you know your key audience so well that you coach them when you’re speaking about your own story and teaching them what you have to teach. A good coach is one that asks great questions and my process as a coach starts long before the person has signed on. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting or workshop about how to include your customers in your storytelling.


It's OK to take off your cloak

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I watched Glennon Doyle Menton’s “Lessons from a Mental Hospital” TED Talk last week, where she described her journey through anorexia, alcoholism and drugs to not being afraid of her feelings anymore. The talk ended with Glennon telling audience about an e-mail she received…”it's braver to be Clark Kent than it is to be Superman”. Powerful! I guess all superhero stories are a form of escapism and they allow us to imagine what we might do with the ability to fly and the courage that comes from being bulletproof. I think the best superhero stories also explore what it is to be human and our relationship with power.

The majority of humans don’t really want to be liars and withholders, they are just afraid to be real. I wonder why so few people tell the hard truth about themselves, their lives and their struggles? Is it because we are taught from an early age that it’s not safe to share the realness of our challenges? Is it because we are scared of being judged or is it because previous experience has taught us that honesty allows us to be scarred, alienated or rejected when we open up?

One of my close friends likes to speak about being authentic, I prefer to use the word, consistent. We may differ on the words but neither of us are afraid of the uncensored truth. We don’t have to walk in another man’s shoes to feel his pain! Due to my upbringing, training and conditioning I have the ability to sit in oneness with another who is in the deepest pain and find love and connection.


The competency model for salespersons

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Do you want to have a career in sales? I think a modern salesperson requires these below 9 attributes and 8 skills if they want to be seen as competent sales professional.

The nine attributes are as follows:
1. Self-discipline
2. Optimism (attitude)
3. Caring (other-orientation)
4. Competitiveness
5. Resourcefulness
6. Initiative
7. Persistence
8. Communication, and
9. Accountability.

The skills are as follows:
a) Closing
b) Prospecting
c) Storytelling
d) Diagnosing
e) Negotiating
f) Business acumen
g) Change management, and
h) Leadership.  

While possessing these skills doesn’t guarantee success, they are critical for carrying out the daily duties of a sales professional. Are you interested in reviewing some of the competencies that are most beneficial your sales team? Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting or workshop.


Face it

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I was recently humbled when one of Danish my friends introduced me as a “knowledge seeking gentleman”. I’m fully aware that I have had a rich lifestyle and have always strived for excellence in everything I do, even so, to be honest I was a little taken aback. Does this mean that I am still not comfortable being the hero of the story, or are the words of coach John Wooden too deeply engraved in my consciousness?

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. - John Wooden

We all have issues

Image c/o Afro-Punk

Image c/o Afro-Punk

Mental Health Awareness Month has been observed in the month of May since 1949 in the United States. I am in Europe and still thought it relevant to write a little about the topic. Those of you who are regular readers know that throughout my life I have continuously observed human behaviour and consider myself to be mentally strong. I have been exposed to trauma, stigma and systemic discrimination on a daily basis, so I wanted to highlight that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Rather than beat myself up for my mistakes, I focus on learning from them and accept full responsibility for my behaviour and then I choose to move forward in a productive manner. How do you feel about making mistakes?

Disclaimer: The content below is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
10 things mentally strong people won't do:

  1. They don’t dwell on mistakes.

  2. They don’t hang around negative people.

  3. They don’t stop believing in themselves.

  4. They don’t wait for an apology to forgive.

  5. They don’t feel sorry for themselves.

  6. They don’t hold grudges.

  7. They don’t allow anyone to limit their joy.

  8. They don’t limit the joy of others.

  9. They don’t get lazy.

  10. They don’t get negative or bitter.

Don’t let the world make you hard, don’t let the pain make you hate and don’t let the bitterness steal your sweetness.


Mind the gap

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One of the big lessons I learned from the pandemic has been patience - “Make do now and then make better later”. We measure success by the way we touch the lives of people and now I realise that everything I learned about parenting was about leadership. Both parenting and leadership have the following attributes in common:
- Caring
- Listening
- Trusting
- Empowering
- Teaching
- Mentoring
- Leading

There is always going to be a gap between your ambition and your ability. The big question is are you willing to trust progress and not seek perfection? Contact me via e-mail to arrange a confidential meeting if you are questioning yourself about: Who you are, what you stand for and what you do for others?


The devil is in the details

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As an astute executives we strive to develop a sound brand stories. A set of facts that describes how the brand differentiates, resonates with customers and inspires employees. We also recognise that to communicate and gain buy-in to those facts, we would have to create a set of intriguing, authentic signature stories, involving narratives with a strategic message. For example, a signature story perhaps about a founder, employee or customer that illustrates and provides credibility to the brand story.


Would you like to create a brand story that gains attention and diverts people from counter-arguing? Regardless of the industry, I think that brands should not compete on price, you should only compete on storytelling. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a confidential meeting when you are ready to create a clear, interesting and believable brand story.


This is a journey

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Somebody once told me years ago, the greatest motivator is fear, and he meant in business. People need to be afraid of you and afraid that they are going to lose their job, otherwise they won’t do what they need to do. I think that’s terrible way to treat people and I don’t that’s for anyone. You want to work, you work for it, and you want to work for other people with the same conditions.

 

The most exciting part of life is learning, and being a better listener, being a better partner, being a better father, being a better leader, being a better friend, being a better colleague. We should all aspire to never be satisfied with where we are and always try to be better. I’m fully aware that things in business do not change overnight. It’s a momentum, it’s like exercise, it’s like parenting. It’s hard work and you don’t always get to see the results of all that labour, stress and sacrifice, but you get these little glimmers that you realise it’s all worth it, and that’s the point.

 

I don’t think it’s possible to overstate the importance, and the power, and the potential of creating a work environment where people feel valued and respected and have the opportunity to be fulfilled in their work. And it makes no difference whether you’re in the service or manufacturing business, at the end of the day everyone wants to be part of something. And if you give me an opportunity to play a meaningful role, I’m going to give you 150%. When you know somebody trusts you, it’s like you are raising your game to meet their expectations of you. And any organisation powered by people who care and are cared for is a lot better place to work, it’s a better place to buy things from, it’s just a better place.


Old dog...new tricks!

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In my early days of leadership, people centric thinking was not part of my business plan. I was a nice guy, I had a positive attitude but I wouldn’t say to you that I was sensitive to the impact of my initiatives on people. It was all about numbers and building shareholder value, not human value. My early days were very traditional, if I had to fire people - I just did it. I mean, that’s what you do in business! Unfortunately, that conventional thought still exists today, it’s not human, it’s just all about numbers.

I think the major problem with business leadership today is that there is no leadership; there’s a lot of management. It’s a very short-term attitude to just think about people as a resource that you pay and expect them to do their work. What will you lose if you take it from a human perspective? In reality we are responsible for the lives of human beings. And if you want to be cold-hearted about it, people who like coming to work are even more productive. People who feel safe and can trust the people they work with are more likely to offer bigger ideas, take better risks, be more innovative and more productive. That’s a whole host of good business reasons. When you are ready to look at your employees from a human perspective, just contact me via e-mail to arrange a confidential meeting.


Change is going to come

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This week has been rather turbulent, and made me realise that some people build bridges and some people pay a toll to use the bridge. There are more questions than answers and the more that I find out, the less I know.
- Why are we not taught how to build up a conversation?
- What would you say to this or that?
- How could you misinterpret this or that?
- How can I make this clearer?
- How will what I say make the receiver feel?



Before I attend a meeting I try to understand the following:
a) Who will be in the meeting?
b) What’s the objective?
c) What’s our meeting control plan?
d) What are we trying to achieve from this meeting?
Contact me via e-mail if you would like to discuss meeting structures. The purpose of why we are here today is…
The objective for me today is…
The takeaways that I would like you to leave with are…


Growth is a process!

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There is always room for improvement as you do not just wake up and become a beautiful butterfly (egg > caterpillar > pupa > butterfly). The process is called metamorphosis, a Greek word that means transformation or change in shape.

I think effective communication is when you are really good at delivering the message concisely. We all have a sales process, but in reality, we are not going to dictate to the buyer without creating an incentive for them to bow to our sales process. I always ask myself, “What is the 1% that I want the buyer to walk away with?” Being an effective communicator through stories is an ideal way to differentiate and may lead to the buyer relaying your story to the end-users. This is a skill that I am constantly trying to master - slowing down to speed up.


Sales is a profession and you have to put in the work just like a professional athlete. In sales the outcome is not solely based on the performance, sometimes the performance can be awesome and the outcome mediocre. It’s incredibly valuable to evaluate your sales calls and process. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting or workshop about building your sales process and self reflection tools.


Prospect theory

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The Prospect Theory was developed by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky in 1979. It’s a behavioural model (psychology theory) that describes how people make decisions when presented with alternatives that involve risk, probability and uncertainty. See video below for a one minute explanation.

People usually make decisions based on a perfectly rational evaluation of the potential gains and losses that are associated with that decision. The pain of losing something is stronger than the pleasure of gaining something. Our risk tolerance are different based on the decisions we face. When we are speaking about possible gains we tend to be risk averse, in other words, we will choose options that provide lower expected returns and more certainty. Whereas when the decision is about potential losses we tend to be risk seeking. Which means we will accept the lower than expected value as long as we feel we have some potential to avoid losses.


Persuasion is one of the most important tools in life

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According to Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book, “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” there are 6 universal principles of successful influence.

  1. Reciprocity - People want to say “yes” to those who have given to them first, they feel obligated to give back.

  2. Liking - Find commonalities as we prefer to say “yes” to people we like. In a negotiation scenario, finding that common goal ensures that we are more likely to get a better deal.

  3. Authority - We prefer to say “yes” to those individuals who demonstrate competence and are experienced in a particular area.

  4. Social Proof - If our peers are doing something then automatically we think it’s probably a good choice for us.

  5. Scarcity - We want those things that are scarce, rare and not easily accessible.

  6. Consistency - Commitment to being consistent with what we have already said or done publicly.



Persuasion skills are essential for success in every stage of life and are some of the most important skills that you can develop. Persuasion is NOT the ability to convince your opponents to see things your way, that’s manipulation. I think relationships are formed by our ability to listen to others and work in their best interests, and expertise comes with knowledge and experience.


There are some fundamental steps for improving your persuasion skills! I’m currently teaching my son how to frame his position when making a presentation, so that it highlights its benefits to all the stakeholders. And whatever you say must be backed up with evidence, in my opinion, metaphors and storytelling are best when you want to emotionally connect with your audience. Contact me via e-mail, if you are serious about improving your persuasion skills when negotiating mutual solutions.


The Sun is a pretty big star

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Life is not about darkness or light, rather its about finding the the brightest star within your unconscious and creating a galaxy. I think everyone is made up of light, we simply need to find our best way to shine. When your words and actions match, people know they can trust you, so there is o need to make false promises. 

Sales people are not criminals and are usually not doing anything sneaky. Sales is a method used to align clients and customers to goods and services. The complex sale has many different stakeholders involved in the decision making process, on the other hand, the simple sale is when selling to an individual decision maker. As a sales person we must understand that it’s not a straight line from where we are to what we want. Most sales people are trained in the “old fashioned” way moving from presentation > demo > proposal > negotiation > close. How many people want to buy that way? We as individuals do not buy that way, we look at reviews and recommendations from our social circle.

Today, we are living in a high stimulus world! Everyone appears to be stimulus rich and context poor. I think competence is dependent on context and ask myself on a daily basis - How can I add value and become tremendously impactful? Do you really care about your customers? What you are selling can be anything and the value proposition can be pretty subjective. Contact me via e-mail to arrange a meeting or workshop, and learn about why you should show up prepared and the benefits of demonstrating authenticity.


I will leave a legacy

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I want to leave a legacy because my life matters and my legacy will be passed on by the people that I have met on my journey. My legacy is pouring whatever I have experienced into whoever is listening and that’s proof that I was here. And if at the end of my life I have added something to your life that made you move forward then I contributed towards your journey. Whenever anyone asks about your journey, you will tell them about this guy you met and that’s how we as people have survived for centuries. My forefathers withstood slavery and so many other atrocities because in the mindst of all the horrendous things we experienced, we still clapped our hands and sang our songs. We still managed to be creative and we are still here! My people have been through lynching, rapes, burnings and killings. My legacy is that we danced and sang and survived. We had opposition, trouble and tears, and I don’t have to write anymore about that.

Agony will always find you on its own, its ecstacy and happiness that has to have your name on it. I’m sending you the potential to go beyond agony to the ecstacy of fulfilling everything you were created to be and that’s my legacy. It’s in the people that heard me, it’s in my children, it’s in my friends and colleagues. I write like I speak and it always sounds like I am having a conversation with a friend. I’m easy to find both online and offline, and if you can't find me it’s because I’m dead. I will be fruitful as long as I’m alive and can move, making the best use of my resources and time.