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Wisdom on Wednesday

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Nowadays we have very few guidelines and an awful lot of options, and all these options are giving us quite a bit of uncertainty and self-doubt. We need leaders that can create big promises to customers, and help their organisations deliver on those promises. Leaders who master both strategy and execution start by building a bold but executable strategy. Next, they ensure that the company is investing behind the change. And last, they make sure the entire organisation is motivated to go the journey.

 

There are 4 parts of emotional intelligence (EQ):

1.         Self-awareness
2.         Self-management
3.         Empathising
4.         Social skills




Within each and every one of these domains are there specific learned and learnable abilities that will make sales executives outstanding performers. Within the self-management cluster there’s not only better managing of negative emotions, there’s also adaptability. Maintaining a positive outlook, no matter what happens in your life, keeping an eye on that long-term goal despite setbacks, obstacles, and distractions. Mindfulness doesn’t help you directly with any of these but if you want to look at all the EQ attributes and competencies then I’ll be willing to guide you through the process of additional learning. Contact me via e-mail for 1-on-1 executive coaching.

Pay attention

In this current climate, attention is not only a rare commodity and also a precious one. As humans we are getting better and better at staying focussed and keeping the attention on ourselves, as when I pay attention to you, I don’t have it anymore and in that moment is gone forever. We all have the capacity to improve our attention as it’s like building a muscle. The thing about awareness is that they are not making any more of it.  If you choose to focus your awareness and energy on things and people that bring you pleasure and satisfaction, you have a very good chance of being happy in a world full of unhappiness, uncertainty, and fear.

Have you ever noticed that when you need something, you start seeing this item anywhere you go? For example, a friend who asked you to buy yellow roses for an event and all of the sudden yellow roses are everywhere- in the supermarket, gardens, etc. It is the same thing with goals. Your attention is a limited thing, you only notice what you need. So, the trick is to position your goals in your head like it is something you truly need. We must apply this knowledge as it’s too important not to.

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We are very distracted

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We are living in environments with all kinds of competing information and we often work and live-in places that are also overloaded with information. The ability to selectively focus on certain things and ignore other things is part of our capacity as humans. There are distractions everywhere and this is the first time in human history where almost every on the planet has a mobile device. These devices have all kinds of attractions, amusements, and diversions, so we are constantly being pulled away from that one thing we need to do, and I think mindfulness can help.  

What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is where you use your strength of concentration to become a witness to your own thoughts and feelings. I think mindfulness is a mental work out, every time you bring your mind back into focus you are strengthening your concentration. Instead of being fused by our experience, we can step back and still participate in the experience fully and have more control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

 

Your ability as a salesperson to fix your attention on what matters and ignore distractions is a valid predictor of positive financial outcomes. Mindfulness is a method of training your attention in bringing it where you want and keeping where you want it to be. Contact me via e-mail for 1:1 coaching cognitive control sessions.

Courage is a choice

Courage is the willingness to act in the face of fear, doubt or uncertainty. It’s a choice to move forward, knowing that come what may, you will do whatever it takes to deal with it. Alternatively, you can retreat and do what has always been done, what you know and keep receiving what you’ve always gotten. Remember courage will bring us to new places, into new relationships and help generate new results.


Here’s a few action points that will allow you to connect with anyone immediately:
·      Smile
·      Make eye contact
·      Use their name
·      Ask questions
·      Listen with interest
·      Pay attention
·      Be present

Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. A study group asked a group of Californian entrepreneurs, “How do you make your decisions?” These are entrepreneurs who have built businesses from nothing to over $100 million, and they more or less said the same thing - “I am a voracious gatherer of information, I want to see the numbers but if it doesn’t feel right I won’t go ahead with the deal.” The part of the brain that thinks in words has a very rich connection to the gastrointestinal tract to the gut, so this is why we get a gut feeling.
When you are making decisions, do you trust your gut feeling?

Risk versus yield

When leaders choose a strategy they are guiding your attention towards specific actions. An organisation’s strategy represents the desired pattern of organisational attention, in other words, what every business department should focus on, each in its particular way. A given strategy makes choices about what to ignore and what matters, for example, which metric should you focus on, market share or profit?

Leaders need three kinds of focus to be effective, self (inner), people (other), and system (outer) awareness. Inner focus attunes you to your emotions and intuitions, guiding values and better decisions. Other focus smoothes your connections to the people in your lives, and lets you navigate the larger world. I think the key is finding the balance and knowing when to use the right kind of focus at the right time. Contact me via e-mail for training and workshops.

Inner, outer and other

Every leader today needs a strong ethical rudder and I think inner focus is essential. This inner sense is an ethical rudder and answers the questions  - Is what I am about to do in keeping with my sense of meaning, values, right and ethics? This is not a question we answer in words, we answer it first with what feels right and what doesn’t feel right, then we put it into words.

 

Then there’s other focus, which is being able to read people, being able to tune into a person. There are three kinds of empathy:
1) Cognitive Empathy means I understand how you think about things, your mental model of how you see the world. This means I’m able to communicate with you in terms you really understand and resonate with. Leaders and managers who can talk to other people with good cognitive empathy are able to get better than expected performance from their people because they will know what really matters.
2) Emotional Empathy is an immediate felt sense of what’s going on in the other person and this is also absolutely essential. If you only have cognitive empathy and you don’t have emotional empathy, then you’ll miss the mark.
3) Empathic Concern is the third kind of focus in other words empathic empathy is outer focus. Not only do I know how you think and feel but if there’s something you need and I can help, my DNA means I am predisposed to help.

 

The leaders and managers who have the most loyal employees in their team, have all three kinds of empathy. Contact me via e-mail for workshops on empathy.

The mind is a rollercoaster

How do you become good at concentrating?
I think that you can’t focus or concentrate on something that you don’t understand, therefore, one should start by understanding the mind. To be concentrated is to be able to keep your awareness on one thing for an extended period of time. The mind is the most powerful tool in the world and one of the first things I learned when I moved to Copenhagen was the workings of the mind. This was because once you know how the mind works you can control it, and once you can control it - you can focus it. The best way to practice concentrating is by doing one thing at a time throughout the day.

What’s the best way to develop concentration?
I think the best way to develop concentration is to bring that practice into our everyday lives. Whenever you feel that your mind is drifting away, bring it back and focus your with your undivided attention on the person, event or activity. When you can concentrate then you’re able to focus all your energy into a single given point. Life is a manifestation of where your energy is flowing. And if you can’t concentrate your energy, the things that you want to manifest in your life will become very challenging. Keep bringing awareness back and keep focused, learn to concentrate by doing one thing at a time. Make this practise an essential  part of your day. 

You have a choice

The Law of Thermodynamics states that you cannot create or destroy energy, but you can transfer it from one thing to another or transform it from one thing to another. I always tell entrepreneurs  to look at energy the same way they look at money. Energy is a finite resource that needs to be wisely managed, wisely reallocated, and wisely invested. Practice being present with whatever you are doing because wherever your attention goes, your energy flows.

The Law of Practice says that we become good at whatever it is we practice, it doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative. If you practice something repeatedly, you’ll become good at it. Now is this why people are so good at distraction? Every day I hear people say that their smart phones are a distraction, the technology is not a bad thing, it’s beautiful so long as we oversee it. On the other hand, if every time your iPhone makes a noise, you turn to it and say – “Yes, master! How can I serve you now?” Then you live in the world of distraction, your iPhone has trained you to be distracted just like Pavlov’s dogs. Let all communication systems serve you but don’t let the little devices intrude you.

Head in the clouds

Mind-wandering the enemy of focus because if your mind is wondering then by definition, you are not focusing and vice-versa. According to Wikipedia, mind-wandering could be described as the experience of thoughts not remaining on a single topic for a long period of time, particularly when people are engaged in an attention-demanding task. I think having your head in the clouds and mind-wandering is extremely valuable and essential for creative insights. This is because the creative process demands that you first gather information and focus on the problem, then you really concentrate and then let go.

The annals of science, art and mathematics are full of people who came up with incredible solutions when they were just daydreaming - in the shower, driving a car, sitting on a train or bus, walking the dog, etc. And that’s because during mind-wandering we can make connections between remote elements in a new way that has value. Now if we move into the execution phase, where you put the idea to use, then you must go back into focus.

Don't crave attention

There is a load of measurable, quantifiable coaching programs out there but I’m all about the human-to-human communication. I would like to draw your attention towards attention. There is a spectrum that goes from noticing the other person to tuning into the other person, I mean emphasising and understanding what’s going on with them. Are they in need? Is there something we can do to help them with compassion? These questions only arise in the first place when we go down that road as information consumes attention.

“A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”
— Herbert Simon

In 2016, Daniel Goleman posted an interesting blog on Linkedin, in the blog Goleman quotes a landmark article by Robert Rosenthal and Linda Tickle-Degnan that described the three essential ingredients for rapport:

  1. Mutual attention,

  2. Shared positive feeling, and

  3. Synchrony or coordination.

How can you improve your listening skills? While there are many strategies for developing better listening habits, a key step is to become aware that you aren’t listening well. Poor listening is often an unconscious habit and as such is governed by the part of brains that handles automatic tasks. Before we can change a habit, we need to become aware of it. That type of awareness can be developed through mindfulness, the secret ingredient in habit change. Once we’re aware in the moment, we can choose to step away from distractions and focus attention on another person. You can read Daniel Goleman’s blog here.

No gain without pain

The central figure of Western culture is Jesus Christ. My parents come from Jamaica, so I was born and raised in London with Christian values. Fun fact: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, Jamaica with over 1,600 churches, has the most churches per square mile of any country in the world.What does the dying of Christ and resurrecting as a hero mean psychologically? I think it means that you learn things painfully and when you learn things painfully a part of you must die and that’s the pain. For example, when a dream is shattered, a huge part of you that constituted that dream must be stripped away and burned. Therefore, life is a constant procession of death and rebirth, and to participate in that fully is to allow yourself to be redeemed by it. 

 

In my opinion, the good is the process of death and rebirth voluntarily undertaken – you are not as good as you could be, so let part of you die. And if someone comes along and says, “You know there’s some dead wood here and it needs to be burned but are you aware that if I burn it, it will be painful?” And I am fully aware that the thing that emerges in its place is something better. The secret of human beings, unlike any other species is that we can let our old selves die metaphorically and let our new selves be born, and that is exactly what we should do.

Let's talk about it

Which one do you think is best?
I do not give you these answers, my technique is all about self-discovery and taking a deeper dive into the decision-making process by asking alternative questions, for example:
a) Why do you think they did that?
b) How could you have prevented that?
c) What do you think is going to happen next?

 

My procedures revolve around the 4 D’s (Discover, Define, Develop and Deliver). I systematically investigate, analyse, and optimise the points of contact between the customer and the organisation throughout the relationship. It’s not just about knowing the skills; it’s about applying them. Do you have a systematic way of getting better every day?

“Without doubt, there are lots of ways to measure the pulse of a business. But if you have employee engagement, customer satisfaction, and cash flow right, you can be sure your company is healthy and on the way to winning.”
— Jack Welch

Always be learning

Are you leading an organisations where there are islands of activity? Where finger pointing at who’s doing it wrong in sales, marketing, production or R&D is a common occurrence. It takes strong mental strength to step back and say what is the best thing that I can do as a team to build trust. Are you really spending enough time trying to understand what your team needs are or are you just feeding them information and data?

 

I think confidence is believing you are able, and competence is knowing you are able. Steve Jobs surrounded himself with A+ players, people who were smarter than himself because he wanted to learn, evolve, and grow. He put his faith in his people, not in technology, which for him was just tools that either worked or didn’t. He believed that people were basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them. What are you doing to move the needle forward?

Set a goal

I was recently asked whether I was problem conscious, or solution orientated?

My goal is to help as many people as I can, and I think that there is no substitute for strategy and careful planning when you have goals. You will work hard and get things done in the pursuit of achieving or accomplishing goals. Activity creates excitement and you will need to be excited if you are to achieve and accomplish your objectives. Never confuse activity with accomplishment…


When you have a dream, make a list with the following framework:

1. Identify the goal
2. Identify the benefits from reaching the goal
3. List the major obstacles stopping you from reaching the goal
4. Identify the skills or knowledge required to reach the goal
5. Identify the individuals, groups, and organisations to work with on the goal
6. Develop an action plan
7. Set a completion date


This list may help you to reach your goals, as motivation without instruction and education is ultimately frustrating. When you have a target list, you will focus on the goal and what is essential to achieve your objectives. Contact me via e-mail for a goal setting workshop.

“Logic will not change an emotion but action will.”
— Burrellism

An outstanding achievement

My sister works for a local authority in London and she has been rewarded for her work with a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE). My sister has been helping disadvantaged children re-enter the education system. Leading her team on a day-to-day basis and meetings with head teachers, social workers and the police, it’s a tough job.


Marcus Rashford also received his MBE, he has been recognised for his drive to ensure no child in need went hungry during the pandemic. The ceremony took place yesterday at Windsor Castle and I am extremely proud of both my big sister and Marcus Rashford.
Well done and keep up the good work.

“The Duke of Cambridge was pleased to be back doing investitures in person, celebrating people across the UK who have gone above and beyond for their country and community.”
— Prince William

Don’t be selfish

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Human psychology contains many dualities, one of them being that even while people understand the need for change, they are also irritated and upset by changes that affect them personally. A change that upsets core habits and routines are deeply disturbing to them. To soothe the anxieties of those who dread change, one should create a new set of values and rituals to replace the old ones.


Every value in life must be paid for and those that pay are the ones that get it. Do you need some good ideas to change your life for the future? If you want good ideas then you have to go to the workshops and training courses where good ideas are being taught. Be well prepared, so when opportunity comes along it will pass by the person or organisations who are not prepared. Contact me via e-mail for workshops and training based around about mastering the science of achievement and the art of fulfilment.

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This level of mindfulness

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My heroes have always had a "growth mindset”, believing they can learn, grow, and change throughout their entire lives. It’s incredibly refreshing to be the designer of what happens next and not being a pawn in the system. First you have to take responsibility, then you need to find an interesting problem, then you take your customer on the journey to solve their problem. Never use fear, shame, and anger to get people to do what you want you want them to do.

We all remember the saying, “failure is not an option!” and if this is the case, then neither is success. Therefore, what we need is a process that you can do over and over again. And the fuel you need for that is possibility, because if we can see it in our heads that it’s possible then it’s easier to own it. This is possible and once it’s possible then you can be responsible, and once you can be responsible, then you can build a process. Don’t seek perfection, seek possibilities.

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”
— Albert Einstein

Simple is hard

I have done some corporate case studies over the years as I didn’t really know what made change stick and why corporate change was so hard. What I found through some of these case studies was that:

  1. Change happens not from the top-down but from middle-out. Change must be proposed by the people in the trenches and respected by the leadership, and at the same time admired by those below who are the rising stars of the future.

  2. Change is not a process; change is a tool kit. I think that if change and innovation was a process then everyone could do it, as people are smart and can easily follow rules. I think employees need on-demand tools that they can draw on when different things come at them.

  3. Change must be presented in small chunks. Managers and leaders must lead by example to affect change on an everyday level, for example, in meetings, e-mails, reports and procedures. Small incremental ways to get the employees on board so they want to make the big change.

 

Employees want a fire lit from underneath them by people within them. I think that organisations will have to put more training into managers if they really want to make the changes stick.

Heroes have a growth mindset

Leadership is not about being the best, leadership is about making everyone else better, and you can’t learn leadership from a textbook or by gaining a certain title or number of years of experience. Leadership and the ability to influence others are a result of understanding people and if we take the time to develop this, it is much easier to influence other people, because you will be able to speak to their purposes and motivations. 


As a leader, you cannot do everything yourself in a fast-changing business world. You need a team that takes ownership, that coaches and helps each other to cross the finish line together, that maintains each other’s energy. If you have this kind of culture, where people are also rewarded for these behaviours, then everyone can have the ability to influence change for good, and they will want to do so. I think the Prime Minister of Barbados, Mia Mottley made an excellent speech at the COP26 UN Climate Change Conference in Glasgow, see “When will leaders lead?”.

Stay alert

c/o Coutts.com

How often do you rush to judge, and does this judgement serve you well or is it a hindrance when trying to reach your goals? 
This question struck me both intellectually and emotionally and I started to consider why our minds are meaning-making machines, constantly making assumptions, judgements, and looking for patterns. This is not bad trait as it has kept humans safe as we evolved for a very long time. However, these internal narratives can be filled with bias, they can be self-destructive, or can also result in hurting someone else. At the end of the day, our judgments can be the lens through which we understand the world and that lens is foggy.

“Be curious, not judgmental.”
— Walt Whitman

What can stand in the way of spotting opportunities?
I think curiosity is what really unlocks the ability to spot opportunities and it is available to every single one of us. All we have to do is ask questions and continue to believe that we can discover and probe and learn more and more every single day. The Achilles heel for many business people is that you believe you are an expert, so anyone who is already believing that they have a certain expertise in any variety of business or any part of life, stops asking questions and that’s a dangerous thing. If you want to spot opportunity and create something new or just keep up to date in a rapidly changing world then curiosity is your friend. Curiosity genuinely doesn’t know, it wants to find out more, whilst judgement already knows enough. Curiosity is a tool and goes by names like listening, appreciation and connection. Stay alert…