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Look in the mirror

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Historically DEI has been an add on to the existing HR and People Lead team roles, however that’s changed. We are seeing more defined roles, more clear objectives and responsibilities, for example, Learning & Development when done right, has been known to improve workplace culture, bridge skills gaps and increase employee retention rates.

Belonging to a marginalised group does not make you qualified as a DEI professional. I’m a huge fan of research and there are 8 core competencies that DEI professionals should possess:
1. Change management

2. Diversity, inclusion & a global perspective

3. Business acumen

4. Strategic external relations

5. Integrity

6. Visionary and strategic leadership

7. HR competencies

8. Self-awareness

What characteristics does your organisations DEI advocate possess?
Let me know via email.

What's the challenge?

Image c/o LinkedIn

I have become both a sponge and a filter, absorbing everything while carefully choosing what to amplify. On one hand, I want to give voice to important topics, but on the other, I don’t want those topics to be solely associated with me. There’s a risk of losing myself or making it seem like the issue is about me, which could undermine the message. My challenge is finding ways to support these causes behind the scenes, without drawing too much attention to myself.

““What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgement on events.””
— Epictetus

The culture of trust

Transitioning from personal success to achieving results through others is one of the most rewarding and challenging phases of leadership. It’s a shift from focusing on your own contributions to building, leading, and nurturing a successful team. Leadership is not just about excelling individually but about developing managerial skills that elevate those around you. It’s about ensuring every team member feels empowered, motivated, and recognised. What leadership skill have you been honing lately? Send me an email with your thoughts.

Three key factors

When proposing change, remember that it is typically motivated by one of three factors:

  1. Saving time,

  2. Saving resources,

  3. Saving energy

The questions are:
- How does your value proposition address these points?
- What are you helping your audience save?
Framing your value proposition around these three drivers will help make it more compelling and relevant to your audience's needs.

Focus on the person

When coaching, being fully present in the conversation with the client is essential. It's about having natural, authentic, and meaningful interactions that truly make an impact. Coaching isn’t about asking the most clever questions or simply helping the client find a solution, it’s about focusing on the person, not the problem. The goal isn’t to "fix" a problem but to engage in a co-creative process that empowers the client to discover their own path forward. By partnering with the client in a thought-provoking and creative dialogue, we inspire change and help them maximise their potential.

 

Models and frameworks don’t change lives; coaching does. Transformation happens one conversation at a time, and the real value lies in the coaching process itself. It’s not about showcasing expertise or using impressive tactics and techniques. I think true coaching is about having a genuine, authentic conversation in the moment, letting go of preconceived judgments and ideas to create a space for meaningful, human-to-human interaction. Ultimately, we are coaching the person, not the problem. Do you have a coach? Contact me via email for a “free” 30-minute confidential discovery meeting, and let’s explore how coaching can help you reach your full potential.

Staying in balance

I've never really worried about what people think of me, except for those I genuinely know and care about. Why should you worry about the opinions of people who don't know you, who have never even met you? Why would their words matter? It’s easy to say these things, but they come from a place of balance. I’m not an aggressive person, and I don’t have a quick temper. Sure, I can get a bit moody, stand on my soapbox, and have a good rant about things that frustrate me. But I don’t experience that "red mist" others talk about. Similarly, when things are going well, I don’t let success go to my head.

I would say my character is pretty balanced, as I don’t get overly excited when things are great, and I don’t get too down when they’re not. This kind of temperament isn’t something you can teach or explain easily - it’s either how you’re wired or it’s not. In leadership and senior roles, this balance helps. You’re constantly under pressure to perform, and over time, you learn how to handle it and live with it.

“ “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”  ”
— Mark Twain

Societal pressures

Women are often socialised to prioritise agreeableness and conflict avoidance, which makes the experience of being disliked particularly challenging, especially in high-pressure leadership roles. Research shows that women in leadership positions are more likely to face negative reactions when asserting authority or making unpopular decisions. A study from the Harvard Business Review found that women leaders are disproportionately criticised for behaviours that are seen as acceptable in their male counterparts. I think women who advocate for kindness and justice must also be willing to confront the challenges of standing firm in their values, even when it means facing opposition, retaliation, or bullying. And this aligns with findings from the Korn Ferry Institute, which suggests that women leaders often face a “double bind,” where they are expected to be both empathetic and assertive, a combination that can be difficult to balance in environments where these traits are not equally valued.

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From fixer to coach

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As a trained coach, I’ve had to unlearn the habit of entering conversations with a fixer or problem-solver mindset. I'm still in the process of letting go of that tendency in favour of embracing genuine curiosity. I now actively practice asking questions that I don’t, and couldn’t possibly know the answers to. My role as a coach is to help uncover the root of any fears and support my clients in a safe environment, guiding them to decide what they truly want and how to address those fears.

What territory are we exploring in this session?
Personal? Professional? Community? Family? Friendships?
It doesn’t matter where we begin as these areas are all interconnected. My goal is to understand the whole person and help them explore whatever territory they wish to focus on in the session. What's useful for them is what truly matters. Contact me via e-mail for a free confidential 30 minute discovery.

Communicating your vision

As your coach, I serve as the compass to help you "land the plane," so to speak. I act as a deep listener, helping you stay connected to the goals you set. So, let’s think about whether this is the next step you want to take. Here are a few questions to help you reflect:

  • What do you need to do?

  • How will you do it?

  • By when?

  • With whom?

  • What will success look like, and how will you measure it?

Contact me via email if you have any other considerations.

The human connection matters

At the core of this evolution is a fundamental truth: authenticity cannot be imitated. In an AI-dominated world where much can be automated or replicated, the human connection stands out as irreplaceable. Buyers seek genuine relationships with people they trust to guide them through complex decisions. Trusted advisors understand this and aim to be more than just sellers; they become partners in their clients' success. I think earning the title of "trusted advisor" starts with a shift in mindset. Rather than focusing solely on closing deals, these advisors embrace a “student and leader” approach. They listen actively and ask insightful questions to uncover their clients' true needs and challenges. This curiosity not only shows real interest but also helps advisors gain a deeper understanding of their clients' industries and the context behind their decisions.

Performance coaching

Our tailor-made coaching for performance solutions aims to foster a culture of respect and inclusivity. Creating a positive work environment boosts productivity, promotes teamwork, reduces turnover, and enhances employee satisfaction. We have found this approach to be ideal for retaining top talent, driving innovation, and achieving long-term growth and success. I think by investing in coaching for performance, you empower your employees to develop the skills they need to perform at their best and contribute to your organisation’s overall success.

“When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it’s like giving them emotional oxygen.”
— Stephen Covey

Never complain, never explain

One of my life philosophies is to avoid complaining, which means I never have to explain! Complaining often makes others think that you’re either unwilling to take responsibility for your circumstances or that you lack the competence to handle them. When you complain frequently, you may develop a negative mindset where everything feels like a potential problem, even when there’s nothing wrong. Complaining doesn't improve the situation; it doesn’t help you grow. Instead of complaining, focus on working harder and letting your actions speak for themselves.

Disclaimer: This is not truly how I feel. While the above reflects a certain mindset, I believe in the value of expressing emotions and seeking help when needed.

““Complaining is not a strategy. You have to work hard with the world as you find it, not as you would have it be.””
— Jeff Bezos

The STAR coaching model

The STAR coaching model, which stands for Situation, Task, Action, and Result, is an effective tool for guiding structured and meaningful conversations. It is commonly used in coaching to help individuals reflect on their past experiences and behaviour, making it easier to identify goals and develop actionable plans for the future.

The process begins by discussing the situation, the specific context or challenge that created difficulty. From there, the conversation moves to the task, where the client is encouraged to think about what they believe they should do to address the issue. The next step involves reflecting on their actions, or how they typically respond to such situations, allowing them to examine their thought patterns and behaviour. Finally, the coach and client assess the result of those actions, exploring both the outcome and how the individual feels about it. I think this reflective process allows for accountability and promotes collaborative problem-solving, making it a valuable framework for personal growth and goal setting.

Contact me via email for 1:1 or group coaching.

Clear expectations

Human beings are deeply motivated by their social standing within groups. Recognition and acknowledgment are powerful tools to elevate an individual’s status, activating the brain's reward system, which encourages positive behaviours. Research shows that when people feel recognised, they are more likely to be engaged and supportive in their roles. On the other hand, uncertainty can trigger defensive behaviours as the brain perceives it as a threat. Providing clarity and predictability helps to reduce anxiety and create psychological safety. I think this allows individuals to focus on collaboration rather than self-protection, boosting performance and engagement​.

A little bit more about me

c/o The New York Times

When I can confidently say that my decisions are rooted in love and aligned with my deeper purpose, it’s because I’ve accessed this clarity through meditation. In the stillness, I actively remove the clutter, noise and the weight of societal expectations, external obligations, and others' opinions that often cloud my judgment. By doing so, I create the mental and emotional space necessary to hear my own voice, to connect with my intuition, and to recognise what my soul is truly yearning for. This process of tuning into myself isn’t just about quiet reflection; it’s the foundation of self-awareness, which I believe is the gateway to authentic mindfulness. It’s through this mindful practice that I can align my external actions with my internal truths.

Leadership credibility

I think status means nothing without credibility. Research shows that leaders who lack credibility are far less effective at gaining trust and inspiring their teams. For example, a study by Kouzes & Posner found that credibility is the cornerstone of leadership, with 89% of respondents saying they follow leaders they trust. If people don’t believe you belong in a leadership role, it becomes difficult to lead effectively. Credibility is built through competence, which comes from consistently performing at a high standard over time. Leaders like Angela Merkel and Satya Nadella earned respect by demonstrating expertise and making decisions that consistently yielded positive results.

What does a good coach deliver?

I think a good coach consistently delivers self-belief, self-motivation, choice, clarity, commitment, awareness, responsibility, and action, whilst also holding the client accountable. While many of us may be capable of providing these qualities to others occasionally, a skilled coach delivers them reliably, empowering most people most of the time. Contact me via email to discuss your coaching requirements.

“A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life.”
— John Wooden

The opposite is true

The debate between diversity and meritocracy often overlooks a key point which is it's not just about qualifications or ticking boxes. I think diverse teams bring fresh perspectives, challenge group thinking, and ultimately leads to better decision-making. And in environments where diverse voices are represented, organisations are more agile and innovative, better equipped to solve complex problems. While merit is crucial, true leadership lies in reflecting the communities they serve, ensuring a range of lived experiences is brought to the table. Embracing diversity isn't about compromising standards, it's about broadening them to recognise different forms of excellence. Send me an e-mail and let me what you think?

Control the narrative

“The Courage to Be Disliked" is a popular self-help book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga that explores the concept of embracing our true selves and living authentically, even if that means being disliked by others. The book is based on the principles of Alfred Adler's psychology and offers practical advice on how to develop the courage to be ourselves without seeking validation from others.

Some key takeaways from the book include:

1. The desire to be liked by everyone is a major source of unhappiness.

2. You don't need to be liked by everyone to be happy.

3. Being disliked by others doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

4. Embrace your uniqueness and don't try to conform to others' expectations.

5. Take responsibility for your own life and choices.

6. Don't be afraid to express your own thoughts and opinions.

7. You can't control how others think or feel, but you can control how you respond to them.

I think "The Courage to Be Disliked" is a thought-provoking book that encourages readers to embrace their individuality and live a more authentic, fulfilling life.

Framing soft skills

We also tend to assume that those who look or think like us make better employees. We believe that someone who went to a certain university will perform better simply because we don’t know how else to measure their potential. And what we are beginning to understand is that it’s not difficult to measure what truly makes a difference. It usually comes down to human skills, for example, persistence, grit, and kindness. It’s about people who can encourage others to speak up. When we bring together the right mix of individuals, they consistently outperform those who score well on these false indicators of success.

What’s missing from this picture? Patience, situational awareness, and the core of teamwork, which is the opposite of bullying. When we’re fully present, aware of what’s happening, and act on it, the workplace thrives. It’s far better than simply shouting, “March faster!” while oblivious to the fact that you’re heading straight off a cliff.